Comments by All Members
- "Ah, a book of heartbreak .. ink that was the lifeblood of your heart. Beautiful and full of fragile sorrow. :)"
Posted by Unknown on "I wrote about you" by Lylani
- "nice conceit.... extended metaphor.... a million shards of other peoples' beauty" a wonderful line.... torn pages replaced... funny how sometimes whole just isn't going to be, how the myriad of attempts by others to rewrite one's ending can fail just as easy as a wave can wash 'I love you' off the beach.... well written.... thanks for coming back :)"
Posted by Unknown on "I'm Broken" by Lylani
- "Well written. I liked it. It was short. Succinct. Everything I like in poetry. "
Posted by Unknown on "I'm Broken" by Lylani
- "beautiful set up, tease and success, closed out with an "if..." You tell of the world that lives within a momentary glance so well."
Posted by Sketso on "Anticipation" by Lylani
- "The second last stanza is really brilliant. The whole thing is very good, but still. "I would try not to try to[o] hard / to be perfect for you / but i'd fail and find myself / falling" It's sequential and knowingly set up for that failure you just can't resist. Awesome work. *tips hat*"
Posted by Fantecstasy on "Anticipation" by Lylani
- "You've taken the words right out of my mouth. Funny how I stumbled across this one, the same time that I'm feeling the same way. Great job!"
Posted by SulaMoon on "A Night to Forget" by Lylani
- "such a beautiful poem. colorfully put together, and the imagery so intwined within the words to create a greater picture that is beyond beauty. "
Posted by Unknown on "That was us" by Lylani
- "There was heartbreak and disappointment, but would you have it any other way if it was without him? "
Posted by Mars on "The man I knew" by Lylani
- "Reading this through again with yours and Narcissa's comments and interpretation, added a whole new dimension to this work for me. As when I wrote it I intended the title as in, You can't teach an old dog new tricks - There are some lovers that get past your defenses and once they're there you can't then learn to not feel for them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts its so enlightening to see others responses to my work"
Posted by Lylani on "Old dog" by Lylani
- "Awww , very loving and romantic ....very pretty poem , i love the way you write. thank you for the read:) p.s leave the poem out for him to read ..."
Posted by Unknown on "The man I knew" by Lylani
- "I loved this...and the lines that Narcissa listed are also my favorites. The degree with which you spoke as the "Old dog" was uncanny to me...I have always thought of the voice of a dog speaking to me as such when he/she would declare the love and loyalty. Either way, it was and excellent write."
Posted by Lavenia on "Old dog" by Lylani
- ""I learned to fall without fear
Sing devotion to your deaf ears
To hang every hope on drunken promises
Trust without question
Love without reward"...especially that last line...a type of devotion that regardless who the "Old dog" is...nothing changes that love...but isn't love a reward in itself? I work w/animals and am constantly watching them leave this world...anyway this hit home w/me...and these lines are perfect!
"
Posted by Narcissa on "Old dog" by Lylani
- "what a breath of fresh air,.... to rise above the melancholy tree and and see life for what it can be if only you allow,.... a balanced scale of over-all,.... you've done well,... kudos to you:)"
Posted by Unknown on "Old dog" by Lylani
- "You have described every day I've had for the last 2 years 11 months and two weeks. That was the breaking point. Now I realize the two halves never fit together in the first place. Too late. The living spirit that made the heart beat died slowly before the breaking. Sorry to get all personal. This touched me. I'm sorry ANYONE understands this poem."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Falling apart, together" by Lylani
- "Oh my word, that really is sad. The imagery, and the metaphor are beautiful, but the content is crushing. Don't let jealousy win. I'm so sorry, maybe I should just talk about how well done the poem was, but I know that here on DP the poems are stories of our lives. You are a real person, and more than likely this is your life. I can think of little as bad as letting love die and letting jealousy win. Turning away from a person because you found out who they are isn't a person you can embrace is sad, and if that is the case, then so be it, with all the pain that comes along with the breaking of a bond. Just don't waste something truly precious without good cause. No one is perfect. Likely, you know the reason he looked away. Was it a mistake, A flaw in him, or possibly he needed to be wanted and couldn't feel that from you? Most of us guys don't feel - can't understand - the love you of the fairer gender express towards us unless there is first some kind of sexual connection. That's just the way we are usually wired in the brain. *** In any case, you can see by my many words that your piece touched me, and I do indeed hope for the best for you. Ride the waterfall."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Painting A Broken Heart" by Lylani
- "great ending! I love how you sort of take a path through the catacombs of your mind to your conclusion at the end. i enjoyed this"
Posted by RubyXero on "I'm sorry for your loss?" by Lylani
- "That's a painful position to be in. I have been there once. Nearly drove me mad. I like the way you express it here. Very straight forward and honest."
Posted by Soldier Of Silence on "That was us" by Lylani
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