The Old House: The Beginning
By cre
It is dust, like pieces of the past
In swirls on a sparkling breeze
Like the glitter from a 2nd grade costume
It is this, that the old house sees
Liquescent windows to your soul
Purest, on this earth
Squirming warmth and puppy kisses
Joyous bundle litter-birthed
A cracking floor, imbibed with age
White gave way to yellow-fade decree
Echoes of footsteps long since passed
It is this, that the old house sees
New family - greeting silken fur
Different hands and faces
Loving tongue-laps to little noses
Not yet taught to fear strange places
An old curtain hanging limp and drawn
Pallid to nearly achromatic degree
Finger-smudged, reminders of inhabitants gone
It is this, that the old house sees
Growing - paws too big and clumsy
Learning the difference between anger and play
Head cocked - confused, those lovely eyes
Left in the hot sun for most of the day
Darkness dank and broken tiles
A rusted lock that has seen no key
Chains - heavy on the basement floor
It is this, that the old house sees
Beautiful eyes - dulled to less than life
Beaten into a temporary submission
Kicks and sticks have taught you well
For now, you accept this sad condition
A door with no concern, rusted hinges
Gold letters - seventeen-oh-three
Paint-flecks long-lost to vacant winds
It is this, that the old house sees
* * * * * * * * * *
Years long past - fur has lost its sheen
Ambling with destination vaguely known
Not sure where the old house lives
Desire to find - inside has grown
Broken steps - crumbled with the marks of age
Dirt, a dried-up frog - and a few forsaken leaves
A weary hound - no longer someone's pet
No longer a receptacle for grief
Pausing - trembles fill your walk
Whispers from the walls - "never free"
Recollection's terror invades your brain
And you know it's found: seventeen-oh-three
It is, as though, for all this time
The old house agreed to wait
For the time when you would seek the truth
For the occurrence of this very date
* * * * * * * * * *
Standing above the basement's chains
And anger becomes the key
A growl leaks past those still-sharp teeth
And it is this, that the old house sees
* * * * * * * * * *
A new youth for long-tired bones
And the day of reckoning has dawned
Its seeds were planted long ago
And it came to pass, as the old house saw.
Comments on "The Old House: The Beginning"
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A former member wrote:
Your poem needs some punctuation to accentuate the words. Some words did not exactly rhyme ("...a few forsaken leaves" and "...receptacle of grief", possible alternative "..receptacle for one who grieves!"). Having said that, I did like the journey to the deep, thought-proking and emotional message. Good job!
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A former member wrote:
beautiful imagery. sheer talent right there :)
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On Saturday, October 25, 2003, Demosthenes
(155) wrote:
i wish i had half of your talent. or half of your vocabulary. or half of your perfection. -B
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On Saturday, October 11, 2003, Elf
(47) wrote:
dude! excellent, and so sad...
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On Tuesday, September 2, 2003, The Fallen Angel
(234) wrote:
Greatness sheer brilliance! Enchanting and haunting...+Fallen Angel+
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On Tuesday, June 24, 2003, celestine_moon
(46) wrote:
simply beautiful -kitty
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On Sunday, May 25, 2003, CharlottesWeb
(509) wrote:
I agree with Faerie... it feels like this is so full with meaning and feeling it should and probably will take a while to completly embrace it all. Your writting does compare with the old greats... and surpasses some of them.
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On Sunday, May 25, 2003, CharlottesWeb
(509) wrote:
I felt like I was watching a scene and reading a book at the same time. I knew and felt what was going on ... and I also witnessed it... has an dullness (color wise) to it that sets off everything wonderfully. Great work.~DW~
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A former member wrote:
This is seriously one of the most amazing poems I have ever read. And that includes Whitman and Poe(my two favorite famous poets). :)
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A former member wrote:
damn, you get better everyday...this is national publishment worthy...find a few magazines and I bet they'd agree with me...
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On Sunday, March 23, 2003, Six-Out
(1423) wrote:
That was amazing Jane. Just, wow.
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A former member wrote:
this is amazing, it left me with an expression on ym face that i dont think my face has ever made before, beautiful,i love it, GREAT work, more..more