A Crash Of Strangling Roses
By BeautifulCalamity
And I Recieved You,
strands of ego flying out of your mouth..
(merciless and .. territorial)
I spoke of broken notes,
of cello strings and dimlit streets..
a rose found its way to your smile,
twisted and provocative..
pushing and pulling.
And Your Face Jerked Behind A Golden Glare,
(the trance you put me in.. the trance we found together..
no longer immaculate, no longer beautiful)
A crash of two stars..
colossal music created,
towering above me..
(hovering)
I watched,
fearing ... yet captivated..
for, what i could not control...
made me numb..
(thoughts of collapsing..dying, smothered in the earth..a pile of metal)
"i'm so sorry.."
Breathing to know..why
"I love You"
Yearning to trust..why
"But, We can't help this"
Breathing To Know..Why..
So many people crawl,
for fear our lives will end..
(crushed by men)
In a perfect dream I had one day,
I never lived to speak of the end..
(eye keep telling myself.. I've done this..)
A betrayal in the most loving way..
is still being gone.
" I loved You, Dont Regret Anything Please"
guns still shine as much as your eyes..
(Bright,Bright,Bright)
But.. I'd Breathe Forever In Shame,
to not have any regret..
to not smile through of falseness..in longing
for another day..
(another day)
...find me...
(the end of us)
Comments on "A Crash Of Strangling Roses"
-
On Monday, January 10, 2005, K_Love
(525) wrote:
Beautiful piece, the ending was my favorite, reading your older works are quite different from your newer ones and you have grown as well. Captivating write, well done.
-
On Friday, December 31, 2004, blue
(1409) wrote:
I can't wait!!! ~b
-
On Friday, December 31, 2004, blue
(1409) wrote:
hmmm....pinky, this seems to be an escape...maybe a precursor to your style...it's still you, but different somehow...and of course a reference point for greatness! Big hugs! ...and protection? for you!!! ;) oh, I'm nearing the completion.. :):):) I can
-
On Saturday, December 25, 2004, BeautifulCalamity
(428) wrote:
and thank you deeply, from the bottom of my heart for every word you have spoken of my writings, you are too sweet. . too kind, and i'm grateful that you seem to genuinely love it all so much . . thank you, i say now. .
-
On Saturday, December 25, 2004, BeautifulCalamity
(428) wrote:
addict, if you're still watching this, i've dp mailed you. . one of the red icons on the left side of your screen should be lit up, its the 3rd one from the top.. .
-
A former member wrote:
so i've been reading you for a while, refraining from commenting, for the fear of my comment being an exercise in futility (that of exclaiming the beauty of your works). still, i've come to the point of selfishness... i want to talk to you. one on one.
-
A former member wrote:
you are beautiful... and if possible, i have fallen completely in love with you through only your (pale) reflection as glimpsed in poetry, what beauty, and i will not let that slip away.
-
A former member wrote:
is it possible, then, to understand someone (again, the futility... yet what then, should it be true?) of listening to one's words? i want to speak with you... please, if you've the time to spare, could i beg of you a reply?
-
A former member wrote:
colour_me_addicted@yahoo.com, if you've the time or inclination. and should you not... still, i wish you to know the ways in which you inspire me... your words are those which keep me from hiding my own.
-
A former member wrote:
there are those of us who love you so much, knowing so little of you... would that words (compliments) were of consequence, i'd offer you the stars. still, i hope you understand how much you mean to us.
-
A former member wrote:
would that you'd logged this evening, as i desire nothing greater than a conversation...still, i've your words as a form of (cheaper) comfort... beauty in itself takes varying forms... yet in your words, i find it constantly. ceci ve tal... je vous aime.
-
A former member wrote:
(please, do not underestimate the meaning behind my simple) thank you.
-
A former member wrote:
all the typical poetic compliments apply, and yet... so much more. you've inspired me again to live... and for that, i have only a "thank you." and so i offer thanks, and a heart wholly (poetically) dedicated to you.
-
A former member wrote:
"A crash of two stars.. colossal music created, towering above me.." You have a way of describing things in the most delicate and subtle way, saying so much with so few words. This write was a perfect example of that, wonderfully done. ~Ryan
-
On Saturday, November 6, 2004, CharlottesWeb
(509) wrote:
I'm not a fan of poetry about love or love lost, but I'm a fan of this poem. You use words like I've seen no other. This poem is heavy with perfect meter, and words that compliment each other perfectly. Beautiful work.
-
On Wednesday, October 13, 2004, Loserland
(113) wrote:
very good...nice title
-
On Monday, October 4, 2004, Solace
(1065) wrote:
This reminds me of the music of the stars and the universe and just how it feels to dance to them...Also reminds me of those last words before you break apart...from them...
-
On Monday, October 4, 2004, Solace
(1065) wrote:
Criticism muahahahaha...I want to see this in stanza's, drawn out, don't get me wrong its lovely beyond belief, but to have the reader taste it, savoring each line, all about presentation...
-
On Sunday, October 3, 2004, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
*applauds* This is absolutely breathtaking... FANTASTIC work. :::OLd
-
On Sunday, October 3, 2004, Lynaes
(854) wrote:
Now this is absolutely incredible, your best that I've read so far.. Some absolutely killer lines, like "I spoke of broken notes, of cello strings and dimlit streets.. a rose found its way to your smile twisted and provocative" I'm stunned..
-
On Sunday, October 3, 2004, Lynaes
(854) wrote:
I think I might have to make some room on my favourites list, I'll read this over and over.
-
A former member wrote:
this is very heartwrenching for me.. i really like a lot of the lines, but i can relate a little for this, and i couldnt stop reading when i started.
-
On Saturday, October 2, 2004, girlafraid
(479) wrote:
that was amazing work....like a head trip...it pulled me along and i wasn't always sure where i was going...i like that. welcome to DP!
-
On Saturday, October 2, 2004, Zhee
(529) wrote:
nicely done.. some great lines!
-
A former member wrote:
Too many beautiful lines to quote. Excellent title.. Excellent write, sweets.
-
On Saturday, October 2, 2004, Ravenblade
(307) wrote:
very good write the lines"a rose found its way to your smile, twisted and provocative.. "really stood out to me...loved this from beginning to end, I could relate on a great level...>Raven
-
A former member wrote:
..."guns still shine as much as yours eyes"...damn. That line nailed this piece for me...and the title is superb.