I Was Once Beautiful

By GothicBlack

I was once beautiful
Many years ago
When I had a smile on my face
And there was love in my heart
No matter what people said
I was able to believe in myself

I was once beautiful
But I’ve fallen below
Into the whole of depression
Now I drape myself in garments
Of dark vinyl, leather and velvet
Desperately grasping for any hope

I was once beautiful
With happiness leading my life
My eyes would sparkle with delight
When I breathed fresh, clean air
And I’d leave empty plates
Those many years ago

I was once beautiful
Before all of the black
Or so I’ve been told
That I’m too dark for my own good
My prettiness is buried in a grave
Along with all of my self respect

I was once beautiful
I retained unmarked or untainted skin
Almost pale enough to be porcelain
It was lighted with a glow
A beautiful doll’s reflection
A future model for the runway

I was once beautiful
But now I’m just skin and bones
A full, almost untouched plate I leave
Starvation, I’m not able to find strength to eat
I live in the shadows, a hideous monster
An hopes of utterly disappearing

I was once beautiful
before I picked up a knife
And sliced apart my skin
Scarring my body forever
Now I must hide my features
Behind a cloak and masks of black

I was once beautiful
But now I only see ugliness
Through my dull and dying eyes

I was once beautiful
But I’ve burnt my body
And I’ve sliced my skin

I was once beautiful
But now I hide in shadows
And I shun any spotlight

I was once beautiful
Before I took anger out on myself
Because now I can’t see clear, any longer

I was once beautiful
Before I destroyed my face
Stained from crying to many tears

I was once beautiful
My innocent times prove this
But my childhood was stolen from me

I was once beautiful
That many years ago
Now I wonder, what has happened?
What truly has changed me so?

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Wednesday, February 5, 2003. Filed under: "Depressed" and "Poetry"

Comments on "I Was Once Beautiful"

More comments:

A former member wrote: Wow. Really good, when I read it aloud the words flow of my tongue like silk. A masterpiece.
A former member wrote: I was beautiful once... Is it all right for me to say you can still be even with scars and darkness? This I have learned... my boyfriend is dark and beautiful... but I cannot count his scars... It is possible for you, dear. Love you.
On Wednesday, January 6, 2010, Wiccad (124) wrote:

I get it, I was beautiful once. Sick what life can do to ones soul.
A former member wrote: 'I was once beautiful, I retained unmarked or untainted skin , Almost pale enough to be porcelain, It was lighted with a glow' i love this. truely [beautiful] yet heartbreaking. you are beautiful my love, and so is your writing.
On Wednesday, July 9, 2008, Circe Avalon (115) wrote:

your a phoenix that can arise from ashes and shine glorious again. And although you've gone down the long road, it is still an adventure, and it is very beautiful to others no matter from whose perception it is gleaned. Your words are beautiful and well spoken. Powerful and descriptive.
A former member wrote: This hits very close to home, only I, was never this beautiful. With you, it's like as you're saying "I was once beautiful" , we can all still see how very beautiful you truly are.
A former member wrote: YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. Your soul is beyond discription, mere words cannot describe. if my dumbass know how to bookmark a profile, I'd bookmark this one. I love your works!!!
A former member wrote: i never left a comment on this?!?!?! i coudl SWORN i did!!! I know i bookmarked it the moment I read it *licks you* I was once beautiful too
On Sunday, September 17, 2006, Bluegirl (177) wrote:

"I was once beautiful That many years ago Now I wonder, what has happened? What truly has changed me so" Nothing. You are still absolutely beautiful hun! And this work is just wonderful, too. Keep the ink flowing!
A former member wrote: i picture the ninth line reading "hole" of depression. that's how I envision it. very, very beautiful. gina
On Saturday, May 6, 2006, mywristshurt (405) wrote:

this is in my favs forever.. you are the most beautiful writer, person and soul i think i will ever meet.. and this was extremely good
On Tuesday, January 24, 2006, Guillotine (168) wrote:

after reading this, i still believe you are beautiful....
On Wednesday, January 11, 2006, xserratedsoulx (212) wrote:

you probably changed yourself. it's so sad, the way things really work...i know, that's what happened for me, at least...i fell so far...but i was a well lighted decent, i thought destruction would make me beautiful... ~lauren~
On Monday, January 9, 2006, AHHH (184) wrote:

lovely.
On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Liz (265) wrote:

I really liked this poem, the repetions and descriptions make it strong. The last six stanzas started to be redundant, though. I don't think that repetition is as good as repeating the one line.
On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Liz (265) wrote:

Also, you list several clues as to what you were before you "changed." It makes me suspect that you know exactly what happend, and so I wonder why you ask, at the end. If you don't know, tell us more from these clips, and let us guess.
On Thursday, November 3, 2005, Jonas (715) wrote:

nod.
A former member wrote: I wish I had words to describe, it's like my self reflection in words.. You are beautiful, I'll tell you that, and I love the poem
A former member wrote: damn this hit hard. the over all feel of this is quite overwhelming. the pain and self disgust that you display here reminds me so much of myself in many ways. very well written. and btw...you are beautiful my dear :)
On Thursday, July 14, 2005, thornyrose (23) wrote:

outstanding and well written...it is a great piece...i liked it very much....
A former member wrote: I absolutely love this poem. I fell the same way. I can honestly say that I feelo your pain
On Thursday, May 12, 2005, Serenity (469) wrote:

So many people can and do relate to this. And this could not have been said better. Wonderful job :)
On Tuesday, January 4, 2005, The Crimson Queen (917) wrote:

I relate to this. beautiful write!!
On Sunday, November 14, 2004, Savannah (218) wrote:

This is one of the best poems I have read so far.. I relate so well. It's most definately a fave
On Thursday, May 13, 2004, aXe FactoR (333) wrote:

u are still beautiful, no matter what one morphs into, there's always some element of beauty :)
A former member wrote: ;alsdkfjpief;oiasdjjei;sodjgkjaopijoie;oasdfkljo;ieiasodifjkoejfrias;doifjkfldkfjoei....no other words...
On Thursday, April 8, 2004, murder_in_clubland (384) wrote:

you amze me and you still are beautiful well from my perspective anyways....don't hide yourself you don't need to ~slave
A former member wrote: that was beatuful...i can't even recallall the times people have told me i would be so pretty if i could just stop wearing black and if the scars and burn marks disappeared...*sigh*
A former member wrote: A beautiful poem from I'm sure a beautiful person. I think you're going to get to the point where you won't want to hide anymore. xo
On Thursday, February 26, 2004, Lynaes (854) wrote:

Such a beautiful piece, affected me in a comforting way, as I can relate.. Definitely a favourite. ~L
On Sunday, February 1, 2004, Lemons (46) wrote:

This poem is above anything I could ever say. But I love it.
On Saturday, October 18, 2003, Delphoid-Q (213) wrote:

*Cries*.
A former member wrote: you are still beautiful, as is this poem. i loved it, you put into words what i never could. you are very talented. keep up the good work.
A former member wrote: i know this was written ages ago,but i just had to comment.This is a fantastic poem,it describes exactly how i feel about myself at the moment.This bought tears to my eyes.Thank you,Butterfly..xxx...
A former member wrote: ...i love your poetry....i wish i could write like you can.....and im not trying to kiss up....
On Tuesday, May 6, 2003, IceDragoness (193) wrote:

This is a terribly beautiful piece, and like many of the others i can relate, just made me cry and touch my scars as i looked over some pics of me as a little kid.. ~Dawn
A former member wrote: You couldn't have said this any better. I can truly relate and this is an awesome piece- keep writing!
A former member wrote: i can relate to everything that you said here. thanks you so much! i couldn't put what i feel into words, and you have done a wonderful job.
A former member wrote: WOW! I love your poem and no matter what you say I think your still beautiful. Your pics are awesome ~~Lola~~
A former member wrote: magnificent mantra, clinging to shards of beauty as the self descends, brava
A former member wrote: wow, this is a beautiful poem. you captured my feelings well
A former member wrote: I find that both yourself and this poem are beautiful.. Very well done.
A former member wrote: I know how you feel. I have felt the same way many times. I still think you're beautiful.
A former member wrote: I have to agree your still beautiful, and I could relate to every word you wrote I know exactly what you mean.
On Tuesday, March 18, 2003, liquid_emotion (323) wrote:

searching... You are going to find it... because you want to:)
On Tuesday, March 18, 2003, liquid_emotion (323) wrote:

Good Lord!! I just scrolled up and saw your picture... gorgeous! No kidding, or I wouldn't say it. And from all the ones you put up... i think you know it too:) And cliche' as it may be... you're deep and insightful and that is so powerful and beatiful on
On Tuesday, March 18, 2003, liquid_emotion (323) wrote:

it's own.
On Tuesday, March 18, 2003, ColdScaredAlone (77) wrote:

you're still beautiful, as is your writing.
On Thursday, February 6, 2003, DoctorAsh (371) wrote:

this is an amazing piece ... like the other comment lenders said ... it's a pity you feel this way .... you have gained all of my respects and sympathies ... truely wonderful expression ... direct and to the piont ... lovely write