(be warned: this is brutal.)

the door slams behind you

but you don’t care

as you track him to his car

yelling where the hell are you going

in the middle of the night

he’s silent, mechanical, fires up the engine

burns rubber, & the car is gone

you stand there in the downpour

raindrops mingle

with the warm sweat of your anger

& the cold sweat of your fear

silver needles piercing your skin

but you feel nothing

except the familiar tears

burning your cheeks

you would never admit it

but you’ve always known

you were one

you were one of too many women

the last time you went to the clinic

they stitched up the broken skin

under your eye, they said

the dizziness would fade in a day or two

they said leave the broken pieces

of your heart on the kitchen floor

because they couldn’t repair it

& even if they did

he would only crush it again

sure as god’s in his heaven

& the devil turns in your bed

you could go to church, get down

on your knees & petition heaven

for a smaller mountain

to carry on your back

ask for mercy, beg for pity

but who would pity you

you’re a rag

used & wrung out

to be used again

you’re disgusting