(2005) I hide the razor under my bed...

I hide the razor under my bed.

I keep the words inside my head.

I hold my blood-stained hands

behind my back.

I lie to make up for what

I lack.

I conceal the wounds

beneath my sleeve.

I paste a smile on my face

to deceive.

I force the tears back down inside…

I sit in my room and wait

for the urge to subside.

I use duct tape

to repair the crack.

I paint it red…

to hide the black.

I pretend it’s still beating, but really,

I’m dead.

I convince myself I exist

with the blood I shed.

I cry at night.

My pillow soaks up the tears.

I scream silently, with his voice

echoing in my ears.

I feign sleep, all the while aware.

My tears count the minutes…

I wallow in despair.