breathe- I have to tell myself.
when the world keeps getting smaller.

and when I'm lost. I always
find my way with a broken heart and some stories.
drifting from rose petals to soft words
spoken over a warm bath. and I swear
if you tell me again that you didn't say damn.

I'll believe you.

and I'm just waiting for your words
to tell me it's time to say goodnight- kiss my cheek
please. I'm still wishing. that this
is just a dream.

so I'll pinch these cheeks that you used to make
as red as your name. when you'd squeeze
and say that your love was eternal.
as I keep holding on to memories. of the hallways
and the fields- while I'm closing my eyes
. praying that I'll hear your voice

saying it's time to go to sleep-
go to sleep. because sleep is the enemy
when your soft voice can't carry me there- now.

and I'm begging you- please. just say to me again
that it's time to watch tv. and I can smell the coffee
you used to make. even though
you said, I didn't need it.


and I'm sorry. because I promised
you'd see me again.


and it's times like this
that I wish.

I believed in god.