MOVIE NEWS... Russel Crowe stars in Deep Shit

By TheBardOfBlasphemy

DISCLAIMER - No actors were harmed in the making of this article.


Many should well know by now that our favourite* actor, Russel Crowe, has got himself in a spot of legal bother following a "phone-rage" incident (at least this time he kept his pants on). The gentleman who "received the call" from Russ is suing to the tune of 2.3 million for emotional injuries sustained during a brutal and sustained bout of yelling.

This gentleman's lawsuit has been closely followed by a class action for 2.3 BILLION filed by a large group of people claiming to have suffered emotional injuries while watching Russel's shit films.

Let's be honest... Russel's acting really does suck the hairs off a dog's ball-bag. One out of the two good bits of acting he's managed was on South Park when he acted as himself - except that he was out-acted in that episode by his mate Tugger, who really stole the show.

Russel's only other good performance was on Romper Stomper, where he was the leader of a gang of Neo-Nazis in Australia. This performance shouldn't be counted as acting however, as the movie was actually a documentary about Russel's life before he became a shit actor.

Needless to say, Russel is looking forward to becoming jail-bait. He's been hanging out for an ass-pounding for a some time now.
















* - favourite, that is, for a humiliating public execution

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Published on Tuesday, August 9, 2005.     Filed under: "Comedy" and
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Comments on "MOVIE NEWS... Russel Crowe stars in Deep Shit"

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  • AniDayz On Thursday, August 25, 2005, AniDayz (820)By person wrote:

    youve succefully humored me on many counts---your witty ability and creative collaboration[s] are nothing to be discounted. thankyou for being so fucking fabulous*

  • ONEANDLONELY On Sunday, August 14, 2005, ONEANDLONELY (117)By person wrote:

    Don't knock my favorite Prima-donna. Remember "La Confidential"

  • Railway_Butterfly On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, Railway_Butterfly (354)By person wrote:

    You know who's a better actor than Russel Crowe? Kevin Spacey. You know who else? Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is better than virtually the entirety of bloody hollywood..

  • Six-Out On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    Except he ruined Willy Wonka....and almost every movie he's ever been in.

  • Six-Out On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    Heh, it's great how people judge him without knowning him. And it's great how anyone can sue him for whatever they want. People are a bunch of pussies.

  • Dancing_Monkey On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, Dancing_Monkey (1246)By person wrote:

    Well .. He's not the best actor there is. Heh, I dont mind him tho..

  • redtearswhitesnow On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (79)By person wrote:

    see i told you he was GOD.

  • redtearswhitesnow On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (79)By person wrote:

    Russel Crowe is GOD

  • ApathysKiss On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, ApathysKiss (376)By person wrote:

    death to atheism!

  • redtearswhitesnow On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (79)By person wrote:

    Fine.Death to everything..BUT Russel Crowe.

  • ApathysKiss On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, ApathysKiss (376)By person wrote:

    he's a dick

  • redtearswhitesnow On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (79)By person wrote:

    But hes a funny dick.Who else goes around throwning phones at people?

  • ApathysKiss On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, ApathysKiss (376)By person wrote:

    a godly dick

  • redtearswhitesnow On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, redtearswhitesnow (79)By person wrote:

    Holy shit this is funny.

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