pre-dawn teenage horror-show (or) storm in a tea-cup
By Jonas
i'm waiting for the sun
the sun to show its face
up early too early
a glitch in health had me down too early
i've seen the sky change from indigo fingertips
night losing its grip on the sky
and as i sit watching
almost suddenly
the sky is blue and as the sun yawns the clouds are fire
you don't want to look away for a moment now
as the sun seems inches from the horizon
and you want to be the first one
in your little part of the world to recieve the sun's
fickle favor
an aeroplane ascends from the west
tearing through the pre-dawn sky
it's contrail looking at the dawn and me simultaneously
is set burning like hammered gold
tearing a line
as if the sky were salt spilled on the truck stop table
that god sits at for breakfast in the morning
and he is absent mindedly tracing the the little finger
of his left hand through it making listless little
designs
mornings like this i am a storm in a tea-cup
and even despite the increasing glow
half of me doubts
that the sun will have the cheek
to go poking its mug around these parts
but things that are not so bad seem worse
in these two hours when the glow lies
more towards the monochromatic
but is enough to keep off fitful sleep
and it's worse when you run out of coffee
and you're stuck with old folgers freeze-dry
that makes your stomach growl in protest
as if it would bite you if it could
though as i write
the sun forces the horizon to crack a tired little smile
like one does when a lover recalls you from sleep
with gentle teeth
biting at the skin of your neck
and i remember that the dishes need to be done
and i could stand to do a load of laundry
and i'll have to pick up milk today
and i'll have to stop by the bank
and i have people to call
and maybe i'll see a movie tonight
and the apperature of my focus shifts
as the sun stops down my pupils
and color adds depth do the world
the coffee is still bad
but the day comes into focus
Comments on "pre-dawn teenage horror-show (or) storm in a tea-cup"
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A former member wrote:
It takes talent to make something seemingly so mundane and make it interesting enough for me to want to read it all the way through
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On Wednesday, February 2, 2005, diavolessa
(207) wrote:
the painter paints the crimson sky, yet it is never as beautiful, as real, a red. but this poem is beyond the beauty of words, it expresses the beauty of the soul, the way nothing else can.
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On Wednesday, February 2, 2005, Solace
(1065) wrote:
brilliant work that is brimming with the talent of a true artist, this was truly amazing to read...my thanks
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On Wednesday, February 2, 2005, KittyStryker
(710) wrote:
i love the mixture of really pretty and interesting metaphors, and basic reality. like Bukowski's and Cumming's poetry slept together.
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On Wednesday, February 2, 2005, Jonas
(715) wrote:
that's quite a nice and novel compliment, thank you.
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On Tuesday, February 1, 2005, purr_verse
(1052) wrote:
fantastically realised write. I agree with Nightingale's comment entirely. Wonderfully done, the images and 'moment' of this executed with great skill and insight.
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A former member wrote:
I love the fact that when you write I can see it happening. My mind plays a mixture of memories, and sometimes movie scenes.
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A former member wrote:
Oh, and the end is delightfully conclusive. Like you just took the last swig of coffee and stood up to take in the day like a resolution.
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On Tuesday, February 1, 2005, Anth
(1126) wrote:
brilliant work, emblazoned with imagery of the sky in a unique and original way, i loved the feel of this, and the pictures it painted especially the fifth verse