two modern boys

By Jonas

he walked up slowly
like this was no place special
he just had nowhere in particular
to be
just felt like stopping

he looked a bit nonplussed
when i barely nodded my head
by way of greeting
as subdued and masculine platonic a gesture as it was
recognition is uncool

i had been standing on the sidewalk outside
the window of a coffee shop
waiting for a friend and looking like it

post-everything
so progressive
he leaned on the pole of a street sign
and the light fell on him like it would
on a gangster in a prohibition era film

trying hard to not look like
we were trying hard to look dark
and too cool for words
and every bit the rock stars
we wanted to be

and i turned and looked inside the coffee shop
through the big street window to see
if my friend had slipped by me somehow and was
inside
but i made a casual way of it
and kind of slunk around one hundred and eighty degrees
like the wet asphalt i had been looking at
just bored me to tears and i expected the same from the
other side
andy wasn't inside

i glanced to the side and noticed that my compatriot
in the long leather jacket
with nails painted
concurrently and in a similarly listlessly purturbed manner
was scanning the golden lit warm social scene
inside the coffee shop

we both sneered
like billy idol
in our minds

and almost in tandem we turned back to the street
acting disgusted with all that golden happiness
our eyes fleeing the bright smiles
and caffeinated sociability
to something more becoming of two modern boys

a laugh started inside me
at the coordination of our gestures
he seemed to sense the laugh rising
and silenced me before sound with a cold look
he wondered if i was just another fucker
come to rain on his parade

i calmed myself and supressed the laugh
and i tried to look as indifferent as ever
he turned back to the street indifferent as well
giving me the benefit of the doubt

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Jonas
Published on Thursday, December 30, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "two modern boys"

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  • A former member wrote: It amazes me how the simplicity of your style can capture the most penetrating and revealing of split second gestures and the meaning, social, cultural, historical, that imbues and shapes those gestures... and I feel like a pawn to the gendered roles I un

  • A former member wrote: wittingly fulfill and bravely defend as I perpetuate and instill in others the similar cookie-cutter mannerisms and expectations. Perplexing and too real.

  • doll on the rag On Thursday, July 21, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    this reminds me so much of my first years in high school... trying to be that rock star, trying to be indifferent. the line about billy idol was perfect- he's my celebrity crush; i adore that sneer.

  • doll on the rag On Thursday, July 21, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    it's lovely... reading this is like holding a fragment of my life in a bottle and looking at it with objective curiousity. we never see present ourselves quite as honestly as we do years later. marvelous work, dear.

  • A former member wrote: I've seen it and I've lived it and I Know it well. But I've never thought of how to put the absurdity into words.

  • A former member wrote: To recognize these little scenes as something poetic, and to trap them as such... is truly a gift. Life is made up of moments like these.

  • Liz On Wednesday, January 12, 2005, Liz (267)By person wrote:

    He didn't do a very good job of silencing you, after all. Good thing, too.

  • A former member wrote: (I couldn't post as long as comment as I wanted) :: Anyway, this is incredible, the line breaks are so fitting and within the millisecond of each line the reader's given the freedom to explore the potential outcome

  • A former member wrote: I wish I knew what made good writing so I could point out everything that makes this piece perfect and compliment you on it. The characters could be anyone of any sex and creates any given story really well. One of my favorite pieces I've ever read .

  • A former member wrote: *big grin on her face* this was AWESOME Jonas! this was absolutly poetic in every sense of the word. It was like watching a clip rather than reading a poem and you never dissapoint me with your works

  • A former member wrote: this is hilarious...

  • A former member wrote: it's so much easier to stand apart, a million miles at heart, when right next to you the mirror shines too bright....

  • birdwell On Sunday, January 2, 2005, birdwell (140)By person wrote:

    i'd leave a comment conveying my expounding admirations.. but... how would that look... hmmph.. ;) ~db~

  • urbanhumility On Friday, December 31, 2004, urbanhumility (1175)By person wrote:

    you mesh the sublties of memory and emotion.......well done......urban

  • Anth On Friday, December 31, 2004, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    i think this is an awesome write, the way youve written it had me totally absorbed,an original refreshing and very cool work. so much that is great about this

  • A former member wrote: whoa good write

  • KittyStryker On Thursday, December 30, 2004, KittyStryker (711)By person wrote:

    i chuckled a bit at this too... simply cause i've seen that happen while i've been sitting inside coffeeshops... this is a perfectly written description of the process.

  • BeautifulCalamity On Thursday, December 30, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428)By person wrote:

    --very nicely written. . "he wondered if i was just another fucker come to rain on his parade". . some lovely ideas throughout this. .

  • BeautifulCalamity On Thursday, December 30, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428)By person wrote:

    "and the light fell on him like it would on a gangster in a prohibition era film". . whoa, I really like this. it's something I know, one of those things you dont really want to admit I suppose. reminds me of several different things all at once, very n

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