Waiting...

Am I still alive?
I just slit my wrists.
But, I'm still here
with my tightened fists.

I still see the blood.
I still feel the drip.
It looks so pretty,
such a beautiful rip.

I didn't use a razor,
just a meer knife.
I couldn't take it anymore,
I hated my life.

Nothing seemed good,
nothing was right.
Day after Day,
the same old fight.

People keep leaving,
They never stay.
They wait until I'm close,
then they run away.

The cuts were getting deeper,
the blood was becoming more.
The scars werent fading,
cutting was now a bore.

My heart continued to ache,
it never seemed to stop.
The depression was worse,
The pills at a constant pop.

The pills never helped,
they just made it worse.
But they made me take them,
I just wanted to curse.

All I want to do is kill,
and harm all these people.
But, They never realize,
They are so feeble.

They treat me as if I'm the same,
But, I'm really not.
I wish they would leave me be,
I wish they would rot!

Leave me alone!
Why can't you see?!
I was never like you,
and never will I be!

The pain it continues,
I feel it kick in.
The blood is still pouring,
Death will soon win.

But, I am not nervous.
I'm not a bit scared.
I've waited for Death,
I've been prepared.

Death has always been there,
with the pain, and the hate.
He said take my hand,
it is your fate.

He told me he loved me,
He told me not to cry.
He said he would be there,
I just have to die.

So, I'm still waiting,
for this blood to quit.
But, it's still pouring,
it hasn't ceased a bit.

It's been 17 years,
I'll wait 17 more.
Death is my lover,
Death... I adore.