...13 Deadly Steps

By SolApathy

This was a requested theme for a 10 minute poem on addiction, recovery, and the unwritten "13th stepping"
that some people take advantage of in NA.   The victim can be a man or a woman, but the results are often counterproductive to the recovery process.  It can have devastating effects on the newcomer and lead to relapse.  Writing about something I have no true knowledge about is learning experience, I can only hope I have done this topic justice.


My burdens were bent by the first needle sent
Fluttering through my veins as a tropical rain
Fierce thunderstorm of prowess and power
I was upon that ivory tower
The morning sang frightful lyrics of the next fix I wouldn’t get
The inevitability of the violent hot/cold un-fix
10 years’ time and today still I remember my dying time
Reborn within this circle of friends, foes, and new-victim shows
I knew her type—One year in -- still broken and ripe
Emotional kaleidoscope of needle-borne dreams
In the back of their heads a nightmare scream
Desperation of acceptance not to fail
To the slaughter they did hail

She doesn’t understand the unwritten thirteenth rule
And I’m a rotten old fool
Burdened by testosterone dreams
Drawn to the weakness of a first year as she weans
I am the symptom of a broken system looking for a lay
Not here to help- It’s the only reason I prey
I am the weakness of a relapse soon to occur
Once I have my fill --in my mind  you' re just a blur
As I’m gone, and the needle is withdrawn I’ll make one last toast
As I leave you to suffer me and my friends boast
I was your assigned recovery host
Looking back, I don’t think either of us ever recovered
We just found new vices my one-night lover.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2019 SolApathy
Published on Monday, January 7, 2019.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...10 minute reminder that we all wear blinders.
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Comments on "...13 Deadly Steps"

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  • Roxxi On Tuesday, January 8, 2019, Roxxi (32)By person wrote:

    I can only be in awe of you now.

  • SolApathy On Saturday, January 18, 2020, SolApathy (559)By person wrote:

    As I am of you, poetry can be more than word, poetry can be a person--- Add I see poetry within your soul

  • Drea On Monday, January 7, 2019, Drea (1504)By person wrote:

    Your writing style is so unique. You can always tell it’s yours, but you approach each subject in such a way... This can fit within so many different vices. Well written

  • SolApathy On Saturday, February 16, 2019, SolApathy (559)By person wrote:

    As are yours, thank you as always my friend.

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