Shhhh........ Psssst come closer
I am a little frightened
of my voice.
I hide behind a wall of written words.
Words that, if sent out without a lookout
Will get
Shot down
In the firing line
Of shy
So I keep a watchful eye
Under a heavy sky.....
Hi.

Don't let on I know but
I sense the presence of this destructive debility as it hides in unsuspecting corners
Tries to steel my words ....
All sense falls, with a slight of hesitance that pulls at the string
Choking.
Like helpless, precious beads slipping
Unfastened anxiety.
A clumsy splattering
of awkward utterings.
Yanked cruelly away,
no longer mine .

I tell you in trust. I am long
a sufferer of diffidence.
I have decided to forge an army
In my defence, armoured in clearer sentence.
They are becoming unstoppable, growing
In force as they trespass, and claim the overgrown fields of trepidation as their own .

So let me whisper you the deals I make .
The protection in which I invest
Is this......
Jewels of the best
words my mind can bring
arranging these 'beads' with zeal
and tie off tight the bloody string
Then hold out my offering
Do you think they will accept?

I play out my quiet, meditated battle and I barter with my crafted confidence and my gentle conscience
Until I am more sure of what I think
Then finally, with shaky shotgun abandoned ( as the enemy within
yields and retreats )
I can lay it all down
in the comfort of ink.
Are you comfy?