Kudzu Memoir

By Maladroit

These regurgitated details
and morning breath dreams
demand
espresso bait
to encourage my brain not to linger
as it is more controlled here
and nobody cries in Vera Wang linens
 
For all the battles I ever lost,
I keep clutching for comfort in excessive thread counts
wishing for the capacity
to bleach out internal stains
and bid the sunshine to dry me out
so I can go about this day
gardening
for amnesia
 
For 2 years and 6 months
I have planted trauma in manure
and I have picked through all the damned weeds
endlessly waiting for lessons to sprout
that thunderous voice always finds me,

"What does it matter? She is nothing but a black girl from Georgia"

The line that became the "once upon a time"
to my macabre
I tried so hard to save her
If I could power wash these stepping stones
I could mute out the regret and shortcomings
...ephemeral distractions...

Fumbling with packets of seeds-
so many analytical duds
because I can't seem to pin point
what germinated a four year friendship
into the hybrid of a designated driver
and
a rapist
 
I have to keep making something out of all the nothings
it is all I have left to do
before I remember
how much I hate the word "anniversary"
because I don't know another informative stake
to place in the day pot
that marks half of my death
 
Move forth
with indolent patterns
because I know, today, it will rain ordure
and there is only a 2 percent chance that bees
will pollinate my memory with glitter
and
bloom
me
biennial

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2012 Maladroit
Published on Wednesday, August 15, 2012.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"
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Works Inspired By "Kudzu Memoir"

Comments on "Kudzu Memoir"

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  • soul_versing On Tuesday, November 11, 2014, soul_versing (1098)By person wrote:

    Omg. I cannot grasp the words fitted to comment, but even horrific stories have a bit of a soothing end. I will be back, dear sir. You tugged on each of my heart strings. -bows Scholar

  • Strataic On Monday, September 23, 2013, Strataic (148)By person wrote:

    Well deserving of P.O.T.D, I hadn't read this one for some time. Scholar

  • Melancholic VIncent On Saturday, July 27, 2013, Melancholic VIncent (533)By person wrote:

    "Vera Wang linens" I believe it indicates that you were married..... And it is another tale of your "misadventures" with this... lesser man. Getting married and ending up like this, it must turn everything so much worse...... I really enjoyed the poem. Shows a lot of rage and that you were in an awful situation for too long, waiting that it would get better...... that you tried...... I wish you luck for your future relationships.

  • A former member wrote: "But nobody cries in Vera Wang linens." This line stood out the most for me. It showed a near shame to grief, or shame of loss. I love this poem, well done, my wide eyed doe.

  • FallenFaith On Wednesday, August 22, 2012, FallenFaith (45)By person wrote:

    I myself garden for amnesia. Love the blunt honesty, you have a way of expressing truthful feelings in words others could not comprehend in thought

  • Dilated View On Wednesday, August 22, 2012, Dilated View (643)By person wrote:

    The picture you paint here is tragic and left me feeling guilty for enjoying the format with which you seemed to drag me into an aftermath of an experience best gone unexperienced. This dug claws into emotions, thank you for sharing this pain.

  • Alchemist On Thursday, August 16, 2012, Alchemist (860)By person wrote:

    I love the line I have planted trauma in manure, especially when coupled with the year and month line from before. Also I like how you carry the idea through out the work.

  • FadedBlues On Thursday, August 16, 2012, FadedBlues (2942)By person wrote:

    ...let that memory rest in this poem (peacefully or otherwise)...


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