When you recall the innocent boy I once was
And still am
Though you did not know me then
As if you know me now
Does it ease your forgiveness
Of all the wretched filth
Of this feral contaminated man

I need your benediction
Your redemption
And deliverence
To survive
Through this nightmare
Of paranoia
And fear
And guilt

Well deserved
It was god's fault
Still
I am deeply ashamed

Indifferent to my fate
I may engage in
Experimentation
And there are fruits
Thereof