Comments by Scarrzz
- "The day before yesterday was seven years since the leap. Yesterday was filled with the same bitter emptiness as every other. I'm not even sure if I wish she knew how badly the silence hurts me every moment."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Ever Since Never" by Scarrzz
- "Thank you, caitlinryen. I haven't read this in some time, but when I saw your comment and re-read it, unfortunately nothing inside has changed. One would hope for growth, or the mystery of time to heal, but I suppose some scars never fade. Yesterday was seven years since the wound. I pray you don't understand this emptiness "
Posted by Scarrzz on "Inner Darkness" by Scarrzz
- "I agree with most of what you said there, Lilith. I don't want to coerce anything from a mate, just to freely enjoy that we both like walking in the same direction, at least most of the time. * I do very much believe in the concept of a soul mate, but experience has taught me that they are not ordained by fate. There is no such thing as "meant to be" but there is the choice whether to open one's heart fully, and thereby allowing that bond between souls to form. Nurture it and it can grow into something beautiful, but if either neglects it, what should have been flowers becomes a choking vine. * Also, this isn't an all or nothing sort of world. There will be good and bad. Almost any pain or obstacle can be survived unless it comes from within the relationship. - I deeply hope for you to find a person that you can love and that can love you in all the ways you need."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Journal - I Want" by Scarrzz
- "This piece was inspired by one of my earliest memories of the deep appreciation of poetry. Sylvia Plath's "Mirror" I love both her confessional style and use of personification. This was the first poem I remember that reached inside and changed the way I look at the world. "
Posted by Scarrzz on "Reflections" by Scarrzz
- "VERY good words and good advice, SH. Just very difficult to want to let go. Hold onto flame or fall into loveless oblivion? Loving her is/was the best thing about my life. Believing I was truly wanted was my price. I no longer belong to myself. The logic inside me tells me you're right, but my heart is a fool."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Empty Dark" by Scarrzz
- "I am honored, Lux. * * *
I suppose one option would be to write something from a temptresses point of view. I know your question was rhetorical, but you may consider this a challenge if you so desire. I bet you have it inside, and I look forward to reading whatever you construct."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Letting Go" by Scarrzz
- "Six years after falling, the hopeless loneliness still makes my guts wrench every day and my soul scream out for help or death, but there is neither help nor relief. I have no one to tell, so I'll write it down here. My quiet scream."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Ever Since Never" by Scarrzz
- "Another year, still sick at my stomach every day from grief and loneliness. I just can't give up loving her. It was too powerful once I started, or maybe it's the nature of the love itself. "
Posted by Scarrzz on "Remembrances" by Scarrzz
- "I'm honored that you find it so. This was where I began my descent. I looked and thought I found. I dared to hope again. I chose unwisely. It would have killed me were it not for my love for those that cared about me. I live because I refused to hurt them, not for myself. I pray someone nourishes you with water and love, but choose that person wisely, because you will be giving them power to destroy you as well as save you."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Dying of Loneliness" by Scarrzz
- "As for myself, the pain never goes away, but it diminishes as emotion is avoided. I suppose it's like dying inside. It doesn't hurt as much when you don't allow yourself to feel anything. Not an elegant solution, but in some cases, the only one available, at least so far. * * * In my case, after five years of being alone, I finally learned to take some joy in small things. It's a crime of waste to have this love and not be able to give it, but at least I know it's real, even if it has killed me. I know it when I shut everything else down and allow myself on occasion to think of her, just for a moment. Too long and I will break myself again, but for just a moment I can still feel love. * * * That isn't to say I don't think of her every few minutes in addition to continually feeling the emptiness inside, but I don't let the deep emotions overwhelm me. Perhaps you would enjoy reading my little treatise entitled "What is Love?" I'd be interested to hear what you think of my perceptions there. * Thanks much for the comment."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Beneath the Mask" by Scarrzz
- "Thanks, Natalie. It does help to be heard, and it helps even more to feel understood. ~Hugs~ ...but I'm still sorry that you understand."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Journey to Nowhere" by Scarrzz
- "I would welcome the company. Walking alone gets old eventually and the best journeys are meant to be shared."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Journey to Nowhere" by Scarrzz
- "Thanks, Evangeline. This is probably the most revealing piece I've written about my inner psyche."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Beneath the Mask" by Scarrzz
- "When she asked me for a physical sharing, I had to choose. I chose to accept her fully. In my heart from that moment, she was my wife - in the deepest place in my heart. I saw it as giving her my love. She saw it as me not protecting her from myself. She was my soul mate even if I wasn't hers. I'm a fool I suppose. I couldn't touch anyone in that way unless I was fully in love. I didn't think she could either. Sleepless nights , nightmares, and heartbrokenness such that I preferred to be dead for years, but wouldn't allow myself that cowardly exit because I have no desire to cause pain to those that care about me. * * * Now just emptiness inside that continually haunts me. At least I have loved fully, even though it was thrown away the next morning."
Posted by Scarrzz on "The Happy People" by Scarrzz
- "It would seem quite incredible to me if death weren't the only cure. Don't worry that there is implication behind that observation though, I care too much about the ones who love me to be so selfish as to stop my own pain. I still desire to have unity and joy, but to retain my sanity I finally gave up hope for it. I decided that I couldn't give up on the love inside me, so I gave up on the hope of being happy instead. Love is more important that joy. * Sometimes people ask how I'm doing and I say in a pretend sarcastic way, "I'll live." The elliptical statement behind that is, ( I just won't enjoy it) - at least not fully."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Without You" by Scarrzz
- "Lustrum is a real English word first popularized during the Roman Empire as a period of five years. You're quite right though, I did intend for each syllable to convey a contributing meaning."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Lustrum" by Scarrzz
- "I was rereading the comments. Five years later I've concluded you are right. It will pass - when I do. Thanks for the encouragement though."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Remembrances" by Scarrzz
- "Thank you. I am humbled that you find it so. This is the result of me writing on a relatively good day when my mind is calmer. It seems odd to me to have reverted, at least on some days, to my previous natural state, yet remaining in a sea of hopelessness. Who knew there could be a sort of serenity even in this place? I think I'll call my next work "Acceptance of Emptiness.""
Posted by Scarrzz on "Without You" by Scarrzz
- "Thanks Cherry Bear, it's good to hear from you. I'm pleased that you like the poem, and saddened because that probably means you understand it. That kind of truth is usually reserved for those that have paid a price for it. Big Hugs for the Bear. "
Posted by Scarrzz on "The Happy People" by Scarrzz
- "I may be nearing the place you told me to go, Moongirl. The more I realize there's nothing to hold onto, the easier it is to try letting go. . . some days anyway."
Posted by Scarrzz on "The Path Away" by Scarrzz
- "I somehow missed these comments. Thank you both very much. Yes, they're all teardrops, one for the brokenness in each of us."
Posted by Scarrzz on "Cold" by Scarrzz
- "Thank you, Natalie. It came from a very deep place. That one moment changed the path of my life."
Posted by Scarrzz on "The Moment" by Scarrzz
- "Thank You, Ainsof. You know me well, and are acutely perceptive. I didn't even recognize the sense of quiet nobility conveyed between the lines, but I felt it as I wrote. I love it when a feeling comes out of the whole rather than a specific wording. I don't claim much nobility, but I believe that being willing to risk all by giving a full measure of love is about as deserving of respect as anyone really can get. - As far as the meter goes, Matt read it that way too, but I had intended Iambic with the employment of some anacrusis at the beginning of a few lines. Those could as well be read trochaically, but that wasn't my intent. I wasn't really worrying about constraining the reading of the piece that much, just wanted the flow to be smooth while demonstrating familiarity with meter, since it was for my assignment. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, my friend."
Posted by Scarrzz on "The Path Away" by Scarrzz
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