Comments by All Members
- " It's always darker beyond the flames of a fire and this witness is heavily infused with a salty perception... - it's a pleasure to read your ink again - blue angel"
Posted by blue angel on "Animus ~ chthonic" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "NN, long time my friend; you haven't missed a beat either! I was wondering how you'd wrap this one and the closing was a metaphorical marvel. Always love a good socio-political commentary when you take it from the micro to the macro. Kudos for the nod to HPLovecraft and Cthulu. Cheers! - Dan"
Posted by dwells on "Animus ~ chthonic" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "I could feel the emotion throughout this piece. I felt the mourning with every word and the anger at the loss.
when you wrote
"and then 'they' say,
"the person wasn't thinking straight
at the time...
an eternity defined
by a moment of haste.."
It makes me angry. It makes me thing. The fragile pieces of life held together by such thin strings, that a small decision could cut through them and take life away.
well written"
Posted by Unknown on "Hanging by her tHrEADs" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "Okay, so this one took me awhile to decipher. It's striking--crafted with the same winsome skill as a certain poem diese von Ihnen about the mist in a meadow. Strong imagery, subdued themes provoking interminable reflection, both inwardly and outwardly toward the sycophantic environment without substance that we're stuck in. ;D "Making my way through the gap"--you are either referring to yourself as an exception to this impaired group of people, or stepping away from them to provide yourself an opportunity to objectively observe . . . or perhaps your usage of the word 'gap' is a coexisting metaphor paying homage to that which is lacking in our society as well. There are two references to the population: "strolling along a populated void" and "pleasing all but populating none." Both seem to point toward the reiteration of the existing message--survival of the fittest, the circle of life, and a self-sufficiency versus dependency. "dis.content" . . . dissing profundity in favor of vapidity . . . "Moans from the sky / sunburned sky / wishing the moon to return / leave the stars behind." This is the most beautiful part of the entire poem. Just enchanting and speaks in whispers of betrayal and wayward dissatisfaction . . . Unrealistic expectations and the input and output function of sewing one's seeds to reap the harvest . . . Very powerful finish, but each and every line reveals a different side of that which is around us--penned so beautifully; it's just another magnificent reminder of why your work stands out. This one is a fabulous example of an allegory with a clear and perspicacious message."
Posted by Unknown on "The Terminal Disease of Nature" by NarcissusNarcosis
- ""Houston, we're off to DopeWorld" *smirks* Ooooh, so you love this place? Even in the face of the fact that "things get stressful" and you want to forget how you the hell you began to do all this shit? Yeah, we'll I've got to admit, "no complaints" isn't valid--think of the things you'll miss if you--(wait, scratch that...) Another meth bug ;) But it's both loved and hated . . . so maybe it's time for a nice ankle TUG."
Posted by Unknown on "NaRCoSiS" by NarcissusNarcosis
- ""Product of love's abusive horror" . . . both a gift and a curse, aimlessly pondering may seem like the worst, truly it is, but useless? Not hardly--you'll need to know what to do someday ;D when your boat gets marooned. Sea, this fatalistic attitude is driving the (black&blue) General(ly) insane, and his pawns (of a different color) dive in, too . . . following suit in the battle of too many thoughts floating, "misinterpreted.""
Posted by Unknown on "Date Rape Psychosis" by NarcissusNarcosis
- ""...and then 'they' say the person wasn't thinking straight" . . . But this kind of decision is tough to make "...hides...sensibility...paints the only authentic certainty of an validity." I'm sorry / doesn't mean much when it comes to that which can never be undone . . . a relationship congealing blood, wrapping 'round a wild trust . . . the aftermath during which all is taken from--no understanding--despite your knowledge, shedding light--shield the flood.halfheartedness is never fun, avoidance--annoying as condolences come . . . no words to say, for they'd only betray the harrowing fact that for this one, you slaved . . . there's no drugged out haze that can erase this place . . . Not sadistic, but hope, certainly not depraved, you speak so clearly--you write from pictures searing metal, chains around your wrists--briefly--need to kiss them away, and step into the rain that can lead it to flow right out of the drain. The water will drown your pain for a change, bring it through pipes to the place--all bodies will agree--means one: sea. Swimming thEIR effortlessly (but always, paddling {subliminally}), never forgotten, but changed visually."
Posted by Unknown on "Hanging by her tHrEADs" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "Your tags make me mad. They're more clever than the works. Just kidding--"so I can turn my back on them all at once / and stab myself in the front" . . . Why must your arrangements speak more than your words? That's how I know that you do write for yourself, and for yourself alone--relatable to many breeds obscurity ____ I'll meet you in the second ring of the Seventh circle when we're both down in Italy . . . "Sore (lie) missed"--discarding your trysts; what a nice little hit toward oblivion. Has anyone ever told you that you shouldn't be left alone in a rehab facility . . . You need a babysitter pronto--one who will give you candy before dinner. "A mouthful of lint" . . . because your filter is broken? Just pour another drink, 'til you're on the brink, roasting alive in your own restless mind . . . "Reck my most trusted enemies" Hm. So instead of looking down on everyone below you, cold to their smiles, indifferent to jokes . . . you'd rather sink below and be licked by the flames, staring up instead, for a place to cast blame . . . Nah. I know a place that's nice--freezing and deep :) . . . and it's right by the beach!"
Posted by Unknown on "WritingMyOwnEnding" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "Oh geez. Transitioning slowly--wakefulness to sleep, watching the infection spreading quickly . . yes it seems tawdry, ostensibly--delve deeper and there's nothing there--lately so many critiques built on grandiosity. Eye floaties that shield from clarity, anyone trying to tell me they were born with the definition of 'sprechgesang' implanted in their brain . . . . well, it just pisses me off. Awesome . . . right ;D . . . as always."
Posted by Unknown on "Sex With A Dictionary!" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "'It started here / it will end here, but it is no perfect circle . . . just this round room around all of your fear," ringing your neck swiftly as you try to hang up . . . "You can 'write off' your troubles all you want" . . . very telling. Here your pen is, dry of ink again. Why can't you use mechanical lead--reload, erase, and at the end of the day . . . when there are no mistakes, just trace it in ink to save for a rainy day, so the black can bleed out and never the red . . ."
Posted by Unknown on "The Dark, Bottomless Pit of Depression" by NarcissusNarcosis
- ""Do you ever feel so alone / you can't stand to be around other people / but you can't trust yourself either" . . . "Do you ever tire of people leaving you / swearing you'll chain the next one in your basement" fear of abandonment. "Through bloodshot eyes / the world is bleak." Not only do you provide a heavy dose of staining, but you contrast it with blankness and stark white plainness. Splitting / black-and-white thinking / Idealization and devaluation. The hallmark of instability in the emotional sense of the word, personality issues are never preferred. Depression will pass, they say it won't last, but what happens when your defect is all that you have . . . "you'd kill yourself to see them again / the next time you'll be together is in the end" . . . the lifetime risk of three-to-ten percent holds hands with seven, then. "Do you ever feel so dead inside / that you hurt yourself to feel alive" . . . well, you know, once you start doing stuff like that, it's hard to stop. Really wouldn't recommend it; such a vicious cycle."
Posted by Unknown on "Vicious Cycle" by NarcissusNarcosis
- "Soooo . . . I'm the only one between the zwei of us that still hears voices trying to convince me of things? Geez. "Or maybe you realized / interaction with another might kill you both." *smiles at the perceived tale of depravity* Actually . . . the hidden meaning and intent behind this one seems almost sociological . . . "arguments heard only in your head"--okay, so in the first few lines, you weren't talking about your inner voices at all--but the outer ones from the people around you. "Arguments with your own mind"--ahhh yes. We know how well those work out for everyone. "Lose your temper and beat it with a hammer until it's dead." Um, perfection. "You've run the pen until it dried / grabbed a new one and threw it inside" . . . always writing, like a clock. Tick tock, tick tock . . . the cuckoo pops out, and it asks you why you don't use pencil . . . Sometimes no matter how long I stare at a line, I never truly understand whether you mean to say 'tear' as in the water-soluble sodium that falls from our eyes, or 'tear' as in a rip. I suppose it could be both at once, though it's clear that here, you mean the former . . . "No fork turn in the road, no left turn, no bend"--very clever way of posing that same old, trite 'no way out' or 'no turning back.' Then the vertical arrangement of "over" and the the mention of the third eye . . . Man, I understand why people get the inkling of the meaning and wanna lick your pages clean. Just imagine what they'd do if they were you and got the urge to devour it from the inside out. So here you are, trying to rip yourself open and crawl away, and meanwhile, there are others that lurk who'd like to do the opposite. I don't know about you, but I think that brain of yours is even tastier than candy. Must be the flavor of all those opiates . . . ;D"
Posted by Unknown on "From Atop the Ledge..." by NarcissusNarcosis
- "A subordinate deity, not necessarily evil . . . to share oneself with another spirit. Rather than 'demon,' which holds a religious connotation . . . who's to say that your daemon isn't Mr. Roger's spirit . . . misinterpreted? ;) Revelation 16:13-15 TLB "And I saw three evil spirits disguised as frogs leap from the mouth of the Dragon, the Creature, and his False Prophet"--This was a very intelligent read--and no, I'm not referring to the bible verse. :P The thing about your works is that they're never too wordy. Your alliteration is so subtle yet careful crafted--"rage / rape," "horns / hated" . . . and who knew 'eyes' and 'mind' sounded so swell together? Not this chick; and your usage of the word "well" (in the fourth-to-last line of the final stanza) leaves such an impression of deep dark secrets that "also" never would have. It just comes across as so effortless, which is all the more impressive considering how painstakingly you work on each of these. Every single line fits perfectly against the next, like a chain of paperclips dangling lower and lower over that pit--you'd better be careful or something might reach up, grab the end of it, and yank you inside ;D"
Posted by Unknown on "The Daemon Inside Me..." by NarcissusNarcosis
- "Valentine's Day . . . metal snake. "Color me black and blank"--black is not a color, the absence of light, so blank--"But look on the bright side of a place with no light." This is an entirely stimulating work with levels that seem to move slowly and evenly at once . . . like taking an elevator down into that mineshaft, each and every time you color yourself a new way--every time we color you a new way--the plight gets deeper and deeper, lower . . . and lower. Very calming sense of depression--an empty, static numbness that manages to still feel glum. It's an interesting poem and evokes quite the emotional reaction from readers. . ."
Posted by Unknown on "Color Me..." by NarcissusNarcosis
- ""Life in a fish tank flooded with useless things" . . . cough.driftwood. . . . "No recollection of my past connection / the future is blurred, colorless hues." Everything shaping together and mixing and curling, betraying fact from fantasy, riddled with discrepancy . . . "A telephone on the wall that only bill collectors call"--such a slithering double-meaning, there, I do believe . . . Every line in your works has such complexity--speak no-holds-barred reality. It's a shock to read how revealing they are--how absolutely true the topics covered are--while still allowing for the completely oblivious to tack on their own perceptions of meaning . . . "A vacuum that only puts more past dusts on the floor" . . . trying to clean up a mess and only managing to spread it all the more. The craftiness here lies in the fact that there's scores of unreachable, unfeasible elements of yours . . . hiding in plain sight."
Posted by Unknown on "Stained-Glass House" by NarcissusNarcosis
- ". . . "So proud I am to finally be / unplugged from your false reality."" In this poem, you fear machines, but still stay separate from we--"nestled safely in space," because it's the human race that's mechanical, that's fake . . . "New Version 6 point(LESS)" I like that :) This whole work incites intense physical reactions. Shortness of breath after "I can smell my wires burning," tightness in the chest with the "oil-less gears turning." As for your allegories: "Say 'ow'" . . . "Years reduced?" "Listen" "God be." You cryptic owl. It's gonna take me forever to decode all of this >;-/ But I guess since you spent so much time slaving over the creation, the least I can do is squint a little more closely . . . I do love the irony of "please don't plug me in." Like you'd rather let your battery go out then live a life of facetious yearning. A moment of clarity to last an eternity? Or is the cost of that clarity your backup personality . . . Writing and creating works half-heartedly? The same can be said about analyzing. So easy to read what we want to read, oil up with humor to detract from feelings . . . and never delve down in the pit deeply . . . "
Posted by Unknown on "Mechanicophobia" by NarcissusNarcosis
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