Comments by All Members
- "Not bad dude.. Not something I see everyday.. Reading it was easier that thought.. "break
that film
between
an underwater burial
and crisp fresh air" great line.. expression."
Posted by ubiquitoussoul on "Boys kissing boys" by nightshade
- "this reminds me of a haunted house gone even more demented, wonderful imagery, it sounds like the housing of death wow! i like it!"
Posted by Unknown on "The dance of shadows" by nightshade
- "this struck something in me from a while ago, well written piece, and the actual format of it adds to the feeling of it "
Posted by Unknown on "Angel" by nightshade
- "Definitely like the way this poem flows, but I personally don't believe in Karma, I'm more of a Revnege type myself...All in all though ,good write XD"
Posted by Deaths Apostle on "Dashed Hopes" by nightshade
- "this flows much better, but i think the semicolons are distracting and im not sure that they are appropriately placed, i would go for regular commas, also you missed a period at the end of the second stanza. these things dont mess with the flow though (well except maybe the semicolons) and i think the poem is much more comprehensible now (well in my opinion. good editing :)"
Posted by Unknown on "Formaldehyde Dreams" by nightshade
- "man this was a grreat write, especially the very last two lines.... I like a lot of your pieces because the words that you choose are very different from usual poets and you carry them with a particular style and ferocity. great stuff man"
Posted by Poetic-Realm on "Formaldehyde Dreams" by nightshade
- "Ohhhhh! This reminds me of a movie...I think it was called "Dying Time" .This cult sacrificed virgins....by the chloroform treatment...stuck them in a casket... buried them...with these lamps...so they could actually see what was happening when the woke up.It was wonderful.So is this. :)"
Posted by Honey on "Formaldehyde Dreams" by nightshade
- "i actually think the concept is good but the rhyme scheme needs some work. it bothers me when you add an s to the words that are supposed to rhyme, like fear and years, its not a perfect rhyme anymore. also i feel like you sacrificed some of the comprehension level of the piece in order to rhyme. such as the line "i told you, but you didnt listen though you should" grammatically i guess it would be "should have" so it reads awkward for the sake of the rhyme scheme. also some more punctuation maybe help/"
Posted by Unknown on "Formaldehyde Dreams" by nightshade
- "it is very good overall. I would work on the flow and transitions a little more. The second stanza jumps around just a tad as well as the third, idea wise
"
Posted by Unknown on "Times gone by" by nightshade
- "Such a pleasantly lyrical way to impose visions of burying someone alive. Seems almost romantic. Nicely done shade."
Posted by Iwas on "Formaldehyde Dreams" by nightshade
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