...and it was beautiful.
By torn_beauty
The ground was covered in ice,
a perilous sea lay before me.
Almost like lifes indiscrepencies,
lying here and there, all before me.
Sorrow has a small place in my heart,
like a tiny stain that will never go away.
should it spread I would be greatful,
it would make not such a scene.
Just like me, so small,
in this ocean of uncertainty.
Like a beautiful blanket of heart break
ruined by my presence.
The dawn came today and it was beautiful.
I didn't see it, I just knew.
I was blinded by my sheets,
my empty hurt kept me tangled somehow.
As I walked forward I slipped,
not falling in or out.
Wish I could see why I just glided across,
across that plane.
As if I was a crazy dancer,
I moved across on a grace that was not my own.
Silence was my partner,
and it was beautiful.
Awards
Comments on "...and it was beautiful."
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A former member wrote:
i'm not exactly sure what to say..but i felt this..it was great..
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On Sunday, January 28, 2007, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
I really liked the analogy of the ice being a perilous sea, never quite thought of it like that, i also liked the Silence was my partner, it really portrays a sense of loneliness
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A former member wrote:
"my empty hurt kept me tangled somehow." Goodness, this piece is filled with gorgeous imagery and lullabyes one can only hear when whispered across the breeze...beautifully done. ~*Beth*~
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A former member wrote:
as for your title dilema, I suggest taking your favorite line from the piece and shortening it into a title...such as..."Empty Hurts and Tangled Limbs" or something to that effect.
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On Tuesday, January 16, 2007, Spiritus_Frumenti
(340) wrote:
nice poem...you used the word beautiful 3 times so i guess naming it something beautiful would be appropriate...-l-
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On Wednesday, January 17, 2007, torn_beauty
(77) wrote:
why thank you all but i think beautiful or something would be appropriate. fabulous.
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On Tuesday, January 16, 2007, LordBrosnian
(44) wrote:
Excellent work. My ego would love to absolve your dilema. Unfortunately, I can not find a common theme to bind it all. So, you, being the writer and the holder of its meaning, must name it. Beautiful.
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On Tuesday, January 16, 2007, anakronistik_me
(24) wrote:
i am in awe...