ohgod

By doll on the rag

ugly ugly dark and dirty
neon clock screams 11:30

someone's been crawling up my insides again
and i woke up with this dirt lining my mouth

it hasn't been two hours
since i saw your shadow out the door

[where shadow equals the number of times i felt cold beneath your lips]

already i'm awake
and grinding my teeth
trying in vain
to chew you out of my veins

goddamn you and your hypodermic kisses

and this
GNITSUGSID|DISGUSTING
NOITCELFER|REFLECTION
GNITAE SI|IS EATING
EVILA EM|ME ALIVE

crawl from that gutter of a bed
skin full of bottle caps and residues
hair in tangles and pinned up with broken leaves

fine pebbles are my only jewels now
the apples in my cheeks once merely bruised, now rotted away

gape at the zombified
wretching writhing mass
of massless, weightless nothing
that could only be called
a me
with bitter laughter to accompany

only ice in the mirror
stars have all gone
blind-eyed preoccupied
with the fall of someone else's god

the abandonment of my only known hope

knees scrape
scream rape
the corner beckons
and i reckon
tonight, morning won't becoming

got my nightgown all dirty for this shit
think i
en route to the bathroom

can't force up what wasn't swallowed

you're only lingering in the backs of my eyes

only lingering in the backs of my eyes

roughskinned floor
smells deep of wood and filth

there

across the room
lies my

.........................................................r...i...b.....b...o.....n.

why did you twist it in your hands?

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Saturday, December 3, 2005. Filed under: "Poetry"

Comments on "ohgod"

On Tuesday, July 5, 2011, Malice In Wonderland (976) wrote:

You... just blow me away, everytime.
On Wednesday, February 18, 2009, allenthepope (7) wrote:

impressive
On Monday, December 19, 2005, BeautifulCalamity (428) wrote:

this piece appeals to all senses in an incredibly intense way. it's beautiful poetry, grasping art. you are definitely a favorite of mine darling.
A former member wrote: it was worth the resizing of it. wayyy worth it. this is art.
On Friday, December 16, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

i like you too. =) ooh, p.s.-- i faved you.
A former member wrote: heh, i faved you too. cause you rock. and we dolls gotta stick together ;)
A former member wrote: What I've noticed about your work is that you focus on words that give sensations.. particularly, touch-wise.. this is sensory and rather amazing, in my opinion.. a poetically and emotionally sound write .. stylish, too. ;)
A former member wrote: It's rather evident to me that you spill your heart upon your page.. rather than your brain.. I've always thought poetry is the word of the heart. ..so, after all that, well done.
On Friday, December 16, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

i love you like madcrazyfierce. you win at life and other, more important things. *mwah*
On Thursday, December 15, 2005, TaintedButterfly (653) wrote:

Definitely worth squinting for, again & again! Awesomely beautiful... Julia~
On Monday, December 12, 2005, elisa (1595) wrote:

*fastens monocle*.......'....hypodermic kisses...'.....gotta love those toxic lips;)
On Monday, December 12, 2005, Liz (265) wrote:

I'm really sorry, but I can't read the font that small. Do I really have to copy and paste and resize all your work, to read it? It's a bit dangerous, to presume your work is worth all that time on my part.
On Tuesday, December 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

do you really have to copy and paste all my work? no. you could just change the font size on your browser temporarily.
On Tuesday, December 13, 2005, elisa (1595) wrote:

-temporarily change the font size on my browser-..........eee gats....that's just crazy enough to work.....too funny.......i was gonna give the same advice but......
On Tuesday, December 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

it's your second comment that confuses me, though. i'm not assuming anything. i just happened to want a small font for this poem. wasn't exactly of the mindset "hey, my poems are the shit and if i wanna make people to work to read them, i'll damn well d
On Tuesday, December 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

do it." it's arrogant and stupid of you to presume, dear, that i'd do something like that. and if your time is so valuable, why are you bothering to try and 'enlighten' me to the dangerous errors of my presuming ways?
A former member wrote: Maybe I have superhuman eyeballs, but I read this (in fact, this is about the fourth time I've read this) and really liked it.. gosh damn.
On Monday, December 12, 2005, Elegant Kiss (178) wrote:

Her art is worth it.
On Tuesday, December 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

amyamy is my hero. *mwah*
A former member wrote: And you called me a painful self-disintegration... You pull it off much better. Yes, my sweet, you always do have me.
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, veingo (526) wrote:

There are lines here that I will never forget. ^V^
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, veingo (526) wrote:

The effect this has on me, the story told, the talent with which it is writen, are all amazing to me. ^V^
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, Lynaes (854) wrote:

Good god, how I felt this.. so raw and severe.. "someone's been crawling up my insides again and i woke up with this dirt lining my mouth"..
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, Lynaes (854) wrote:

so precise is this feeling, but also so intangable.. but you've managed to put it into graceful words. I respect that a lot.
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

thank you, sweet... respect from you is quite a gift, i think.
On Saturday, December 3, 2005, Rone4611 (121) wrote:

b-e-a-utiful. Deep, dark... With a twist of lemmon ;)
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

i prefer nectarines, but that's okay. =)
On Saturday, December 3, 2005, blue (1409) wrote:

you.. you just.. oh dear god! is right! you most certainly have the gift. This is truth. Again, thank you for your amazing words. ~b
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

*mwah*
A former member wrote: Sharp images. Biting wit. "can't force up what wasn't swallowed" = :) The "Disgusting Reflection" part is also a killer. Just fabulous.
On Saturday, December 3, 2005, K_Love (525) wrote:

This is very impressing. So beautiful and amazing.. just wow.. I don't even know what to say I'm in awe. Lovely work.
On Saturday, December 3, 2005, Elegant Kiss (178) wrote:

... dam it, child. I'll come back.
On Sunday, December 4, 2005, doll on the rag (200) wrote:

you'd better.