help me on a title

By Sex Slave

(my first attempt to rhyme so ya....go easy on me) ~danny~



You never saw my tears

Because you ran from my fears

Pretended like you cared

But you were scared

Stayed around for the fun

Then bad times came and you were done

I asked for light

You gave me night

When I was helpless and weak

That was your peak

Not once there catch me when I fell

You sent me to hell

I suffered the pain

And it was your gain

You seemed like a dove

I was in love









Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 Danielle Heyboer
Published on Thursday, May 26, 2005.     Filed under: "Depressed" and "Poetry"
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "help me on a title"

Log in to post comments.
  • mywristshurt On Saturday, July 1, 2006, mywristshurt (405)By person wrote:

    freaky and yet so remourseful.. very nice to see you try to rhyme, and succeed.. as long as we can understand your feelings, its all good.. very good write

  • Lady Grinning Soul On Monday, May 1, 2006, Lady Grinning Soul (143)By person wrote:

    this is good for being a first time rhyme. how bout You Ran Away for a title. i dont know if it is a good title but hey its a title

  • GreekPhilosopher On Wednesday, October 12, 2005, GreekPhilosopher (156)By person wrote:

    Hmmm, Well Not A Bad Attempt But It Feels A Little Forced. GPhD.

  • Malice In Wonderland On Thursday, May 26, 2005, Malice In Wonderland (976)By person wrote:

    Hm...Love lost? Scholar

  • Saint_Reaper On Thursday, May 26, 2005, Saint_Reaper (200)By person wrote:

    first time for rhyme..... but indeed a good one, i like it... title, hmmm.... let me get back to you on a title

  • A former member wrote: ok ok I got one, how about *Chicken Bleep* and I haven't even read your poem. Yay!

  • Serenity On Thursday, May 26, 2005, Serenity (469)By person wrote:

    Oh I like. I'm not great with titles otherwise I'd help ya >.<

Contribution Level

Sex Slave's Favorite Poets
Sex Slave's Favorite Works
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]

Attention: Darkpoetry is now in maintenance mode and will be shutting down soon. Save your work if you wish to keep it.