...Desires of the damned

By SolApathy

Tell me of my desire for death
Why is it in a life so lush I wish only for my last breath?
Into my life, they see no strife
Only internalized pain
Demons in the depths of memories, unreal
Stealing away at the happiness, if I ever --feel
The empathy for others pain
Drawn to me like a desert soaking up the rain
Drained of the will to live
No one can understand the depression I suffer under the sun
The pain of others, as it grows from a seed
A plant of life that breeds strife
Juxtaposition of feelings that cannot be
Clusterfuck of insanity
Inflicting my humanity
I am you, all your pain
Third person unto myself
I am all of us in the closet of conformity
Showing on the surface the lie they want to be
The drugs gave me perspective I can never shelve
Heroin, weed, crack, speed
Tried every cure for my internalized disease
Depression putting me on my knees
Doctors injecting me with mediocrity
Family shunning me; blaming me
Being a squeaky wheel
Decided long ago I can’t show how I feel
I kneel
Taking the gun
I reveal
The sorrow in which you can’t comprehend
I pull the trigger
Bringing your inconvenience to an
…end

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Published on Thursday, February 9, 2017. Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Are they the victims....Or are we... What would you believe?

Comments on "...Desires of the damned"

A former member wrote: I agree with dwells, this is very dark. People turn away from what they cannot understand or accept, and the instinct to disassociate is always there. Instead of calling troubled people inconveniences, we should be fostering a culture of education, understanding, acceptance, and love. Only then can the healing really begin. Applauds and bows to you. Queen Reb;).
On Thursday, February 9, 2017, dwells (4177) wrote:

One of your finest and darkest my friend Shawn and great to see you again! I think people can become so disillusioned and haunted by lives, pasts, and current events that any change would be for the better. "We pray for death to keep us from despair" (penultimate line from a recent poem). At least the squeaking wheel still get the grease I hear - Cheers! - Dan
On Thursday, February 9, 2017, SolApathy (652) wrote:

...I am "The Alchemist" not Alchemist. After 12 years I did a name change. This is SolApathy. I figured you would recognize the style, guess not lol. The change was based off of comments of this poem- https://www.darkpoetry.org/node/work/202209 as I almost always write my poems within a 10 minute time frame; often based upon 1 word requests of other members, or just off of the conversation in chat