I really want to tell you how I feel
But I can’t seem to force my fingers
To write the truth for a change
They want to distort things to my liking
Paint myself in a better light maybe
Soften the overhead, diffuse it obliquely
Hide the harsh reality from even me
So I sit here getting lost in a scene
Of my own making, imagining every detail
Throwing out adjectives and adverbs
Like they will protect me from…well, me
But for once I should focus that bright light
Directly upon my unmasked face
Close my eyes and bare my burdened soul
Prove my thoughtlessness with hurtful actions
That left souls writhing in the dust
To get lost upon plains undiscovered
Till I brought a cup of water…
Prove my selfishness in the name of sanity
Moaning and wailing about inner demons
Without uttering my own shortcomings
Until they caged me completely…
Prove my hopelessness with written words
Trying to explain my reasons indirectly
Walking a razor sharp line in-between
Accepting blame and shunning guilt…
Proving my arrogance in spades
Painting myself as only I could see me
Shading the brutal lies and half-truths
Until I almost looked like an angel
Proving myself to be…well, me…