death alone

another storm thrashing again
the only differnce now is that your dead
the rain is crying my tears for you
the wind howling
thunder deafening
nature is giving you a final send-off
the drops beat me down
worn falling to the ground
i grasp at my faith in tomorrow
it eludes me
happiness & security
flee from me also
the wind & rain thunder in the darkness
love
acceptance of your demise
runs from me
i seek gratitude in the face of gross-
ness
faith in a fetid existence
love in the lucid face of conflict
the water deluging from heaven
can not dilute my love for you
or the feelings i must carry with me
in a world that you are gone from
i try & convince myself
but you don't feel gone
i constantly remind myself
of this cold fact:
you are dead
somehow knowing you are
now only a spirit
makes me appreciate death more
knowing you've gone before
the raging storm is screaming
i try and anchor myself to this world
that you are no longer a part of