zygote

By Jonas

he closed his eyes
and when he opened them he looked delighted
that the world was still there
he wonders if the sun is really no bigger
than the palm of his hand
he obscures the orb and ignores the lights that makes the other
self-evident

the j comes
and the amazed little man boards another car

mine contains another little child
taken with the world in motion
how things will stretch just a little bit into
the space behind it and bits of matter distinct from each other
seem to concurrently occupy a single point in space and time

he laughs inarticulately in an extacy of acceptance

and i wonder
if words
have elevated
or
betrayed
us

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2006 Jonas
Published on Friday, December 29, 2006.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "zygote"

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  • liquid_emotion On Monday, January 8, 2007, liquid_emotion (323)By person wrote:

    it's been a long time...hi

  • purr_verse On Saturday, December 30, 2006, purr_verse (1059)By person wrote:

    I'll keep it simple: You're a damn fine writer. This is excellent.

  • A former member wrote: just loved the first stanza...the sun part...great write ~Tamara

  • A former member wrote: a note on tone: seems to me as if there is, amid the rather sombre mood which I think is aided by the patient and somewhat nonchalant diction and tempo, another sense of carefreeness, a pointed infusion of particularly inane exuberance... reminiscent of a

  • A former member wrote: childlike wonderment... strikingly paradoxical in a unobtrusive way.

  • A former member wrote: In the first stanza, it's interesting to note the power of suggestion: the palm obscuring the sun; subtle yet fairly demanding... when coupled with the ignorance expressed, seems a very indirect, winding way of bringing a touch of darkness to a visually b

  • A former member wrote: bright image... excellent craftsmanship!

  • Six-Out On Friday, December 29, 2006, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    ah. when i read you, I have to breathe deep at the end. this was fantastic. bitch.

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