It sickens me when I remember your arms
Wrapped so tightly, so tightly...
never tight enough
Holding a much younger, more vulnerable me
And I am angry by the sudden longing I feel
When I remember a youth wholly encompassed
in your eyes
Eyes that spoke of everything but my future
My heart aches for this ‘now’ I dwell within
Tainted by repressed emotion I shouldn’t have
Affected by your presence living inside me
A love that has changed from passion to lingered warmth
But never left, never died...
not for a moment, a glimpse, a sigh
And you are so much a part of me, these years later
A part of each brick in these walls I’ve built
Each morning you have been brought back to me incomplete the night before
You touched my whole life, unknowing, unintentional
Consequences undreamt of in our moments together
But now I stand here aching...
on solid feet
With tears I cannot repress, love I no longer understand
And this insatiable longing for knowledge
To know it’s okay to move on without you
To love beyond you, to dream again…
in color