WHY?? (mature content)

By murderedhearts_blood

one happened when i was alone.
i heard my doorbell ring and i went downstairs to let him in. we went up to my room and sat on my bed. he started kissing me and asking me for sex as i told him "NO!" he kept on pleading and arguing despite my requests, so i went off on him and said, "get the fuck out!!" we got off of my bed, but i made a mistake...
i didn't watch him leave. i didn't make sure. a few seconds later i felt his hands gripping my wrists... his arms around my body... breath against my neck.
"you're mine now, bitch" he said. i screamed. i cried. i tried to get away. i couldn't stop the bastard though. i couldn't get him off of me. he threw me on my bed... i couldn't do anything now, yet i kept on struggling. i tried and tried, but that didn't do any good. he raped and beat me on that summer day... talked shit to me... he took away my happiness.

two and three drugged me. i can only remember parts of them, but the parts that i can remember are sick.


four was my ex. they were at my house, my boyfriend and him. my boyfriend threatened to commit suicide, so he came to tell me, obviously with a different intention. he said, "bitch, if you don't fuck me, i swear to fucking god i'll stick a knife up your pussy and twist!" i couldn't scream... i could only cry. i struggled and i pleaded, but he didn't stop... he didn't care.

if you're a victim once, they can sense it on you. they sense the fear... the pain... they can sense the poison others left with you.

but i only have one question to ask...


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© 2005 murderedhearts_bloodofevil
Published on Wednesday, October 26, 2005.     Filed under: "Abuse" and "Short Story"
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Comments on "WHY?? (mature content)"

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  • suicidalsecrecy On Saturday, May 14, 2011, suicidalsecrecy (43)By person wrote:

    This is so profound.I'm holding back tears for you and for myself as well. It's happened to me too. Twice. I'm sorry. I know how hard it is from my own experience. Chin up. Keep writing. I like your style.

  • murderedhearts_blood On Wednesday, May 12, 2021, murderedhearts_blood (24)By person wrote:

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you too! It is a very painful existence once it happens to you, and I just don’t know how to get out of this shit life without dying. I’m not saying that I want to die, but that’s really the only way that I can think of to end my misery… my constant misery. Thank you so much for the comment, and if you need to vent or chat with someone, please don’t hesitate to ask me because I’m a great listener & I actually understand what you’re going through.

  • A former member wrote: UUUUMMM WOW, shitty crap that happened but damn do you know how to put the words together. I felt like I was right there in a 3rd person perspective. srry if I sound a little joyous it's just been a while since I've heard poetry with such passion and fire

  • Cutting_for_Freedom On Wednesday, October 26, 2005, Cutting_for_Freedom (34)By person wrote:

    I know exactly how you feel. I have been raped twice in my past and I'm still asking why. Sadly I don't think there will ever be an answer. If you ever need to talk , just DP mail me. I'll always be around to listen.

  • murderedhearts_blood On Wednesday, May 12, 2021, murderedhearts_blood (24)By person wrote:

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you too, and if you ever need someone to talk to, event, or just listen, or chat, please don’t hesitate to do so! If has been quite some time since I have been on here, so I am so sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for your comment and never give up on yourself who is an amazing person or let anyone tell you otherwise! I’ll be praying for you, and again, I wanted to let you know how sorry I am that this happened to you as well. I hope that you have a blessed and a very wonderful day!

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