Cruel Intentions

Here we go again,
I'm broken once more.
What have you done to me?
You've made me a whore!
And for this I HATE YOU!!!!!
I loathe you with all my being!
At first with you i felt free,
Able to do what i wanted.
Why did you do it?
Why did you try to hurt me so?
At night I cry myself to sleep,
Just the thought of you makes me gag!
It hurts so much to say these things,
For the images they bring are horrid.
Though it happened long ago the memory is still there,
Images so vivid and horrible you would not believe it so.
And now it affects me horribly,
Whenever I'm near my new love.
He can warm me and make the tears go away,
But inside something stays.
It's a black hole in my soul,
Slowly getting bigger.
I used to be a "perfect daughter"
But the innocence is gone now.
A sickening innocence, no longer there,
Is what once kept me safe.
There is no more little angel,
Just a girl with a depressing past.
The place in my heart,
Once holding happiness,
Is now a big, black void.
I'm so afraid he'll be sucked in,
I love him too much to let him.
This horrible void inside my heart,
Is a place where my lost loves linger.
Though now they mean nothing,
They still haunt me.
Screaming, thrashing, kicking.
I just want to let it all out!
I want to go away,
Because if I stay near my love,
I am sure that I will lose him.
That is something I do not want,
Nor will I let happen.
I just have to keep holding on,
Because of you and your cruel intentions.