A Little Glimpse of What Killed Me

You annihilated me, neglected me
your antagonistic ways
confined me to the dispair,
the dispair i felt so deep inside.

You disturbed me,
You slaughtered me,
You desecrated me,
and you raped my body, mind, and soul.

I've plunged to my death,
your wrath was inescapable and
never-ending. You disregarded me.
You devoured my soul, and now...
now I'm murdered... deseased...
& I will haunt you forever.

You ruined my life,
ruined what i had.
Yet I crave the day
that I can see you again.

My sanity has been terminated
I abate to panic and mourn.
I mourn for myself, and my heart,
which has decomposed... that killed me.

However, my pain and suffering didn't end there. It happened again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again (etc.).

 I can't escape my fate, and I'll never be able to live, and especially NOT having a normal life. Each and every single day, I'm NOT living, I'm just surviving, and waiting until I can get my sweet revenge.

You people are evil and twisted, and need to be put down. You make me fucking sick, quite literally, and I cannot get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try.

 I wish that they had a medication that would take away all of my bad memories, and only keep the good ones. But I don't really have any good memories, so now I know that I will literally die again.

 I committed suicide in 2009, and, at least at that time, it was the most pure and amazing experience that I have ever had. Everything was just such a pure light, like nothing that you can see on this planet. It was the happiest that I have ever been in my life, and I can't wait to go back to that beautiful and beyond peaceful place, and no words can do it justice. I can barely describe just how amazing and beautiful it was, the place that I had been to when I died multiple times.

And so I think about that place and being in that place, and ALMOST constantly until what happened to me comes back to me in flashbacks & horrifying nightmares. I can't seem to escape you and what you did to me. I wish you had killed me because at least THEN I could be happy again instead of constantly having to relive what happened to me.