letters make bruises no more

By doll on the rag





to he who knew me
not truly:


i've changed
and

you wouldn't know my face
anymore,
not if you found me
in the rear-view mirror;
not if you took me head-on
like a subway train;

not if you saw me
and actually saw me
instead of you
and your own fear


fear that keeps the key
just beyond your long fingers


i don't pity you
and i'm not ashamed.

















to he i once thought
i loved,


we were children
then
or so we say

i haven't forgotten your anger
laced with the silence
of what you couldn't admit--

that we were wrong
that we were weak
that you had cried


now,
time eases the lines
around your eyes,
makes it okay
to laugh again

you're not nursing old wounds
today

but you say
i'm carving
new ones

















to he whose innocence
i thieved,


i don't want it
and if i could
i'd give it back

it belongs to
someone better



but you knew that

















to she who makes me
feel ugly,


you've felt the honest burn
of the way i love

and here you linger still,
waiting for nothing



except maybe tomorrow



i've always found it
so disgustingly effortless
to take out my self-hatred
on you
and your faults

because they terrify me

because they are me

and it's easiest
to hit the reflection
which cannot defend itself



i wish

just once,



you'd yell at me.

















to he who knows me
in whole,



hope you know
the secret you hold--



i'm not ready
to share it


just yet




and



your patience
breaks my heart.








Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 doll on the rag
Published on Monday, September 26, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "letters make bruises no more"

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  • A former member wrote: Gorgeous, evolving narrative, wonderfully wrought, you tore me into strips and grilled me. Well deserved potd.

  • A former member wrote: "And its easiest to hit the reflection which cannot defend itself" how truly honest of one's self image. Congrats on POTD

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, December 15, 2007, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    What a great piece! "your patience breaks my heart"...perfect ending for this. Fantastic! Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • Railway_Butterfly On Wednesday, September 28, 2005, Railway_Butterfly (354)By person wrote:

    'your patience breaks my heart'.. oh my. Every word of this cuts me so deep.. i'll come back to this, when I can. It deserves a proper comment..

  • purr_verse On Tuesday, September 27, 2005, purr_verse (1059)By person wrote:

    Fabulous write. Every individual 'dedication' stanza is excellently done as separate entities; as a whole, this piece works magnificently and gets inside all the soft places. Wonderfully done.

  • yslehc On Monday, September 26, 2005, yslehc (334)By person wrote:

    hmm i think i'm going to have to add this to my favorites also:P. PERFECT write.

  • wandering druid On Monday, September 26, 2005, wandering druid (79)By person wrote:

    I sat on the edge of my seat as I read this. The feeling you conveyed stole my will, and I was compelled to read on. Excellent.

  • glasshouse On Monday, September 26, 2005, glasshouse (548)By person wrote:

    Oh my. I can't even begin to tell you. This literally has me in tears. You have spoken every corner of my heart back into light. I hate and love you for it. *favs* Wow. -Glass

  • doll on the rag On Tuesday, September 27, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    i'm not sorry. *love*

  • squench On Monday, September 26, 2005, squench (5)By person wrote:

    loved every bit of weight on it, every space around it and every thing in between!

  • not an addict On Monday, September 26, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    so many stories... but i believe the lessons have been worth it, and honestly hun i wouldn't change any of it for you (well... with the exception of trip, perhaps) ;)

  • not an addict On Monday, September 26, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    even in light of the night under the bridge, the collapse, everything, you've made it out beautifully.?

  • not an addict On Monday, September 26, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    now if only you'll break down and take susanna's words for what they are, maybe we can dispense with the last (and most serious) roadblock between you and that ever elusive self respect... possibly

  • doll on the rag On Tuesday, September 27, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    *sigh* that's ever the goal, isn't it...

  • Six-Out On Monday, September 26, 2005, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    Oh my...I'm completely...I don't know. I can't think of anything besides -damn-, but that wouldn't be sufficient for this. Babe, you destroy me in such a beautiful way. Excellent write.

  • doll on the rag On Monday, September 26, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    aww... thank you, dear. =)

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