On the pier of our lake
I was greeted from behind
With a gun and a joke.
At least I thought it was funny.
He didn't. He was broke.
Motivated by my wealth,
My non-existence
Was to his benefit.
He was tempted by a love
I used to share.
A love that was no longer there.

I thought she needed me to live
But I guess he kept her alive.
So she plotted to achieve
A life divine, a life without me.

Death rang from the chamber,
With a blunt force and a pierce.
I was propelled through the air,
Cushioned by a splash
As the water scattered.
I wasn't bothered by the pain
Because air was all that mattered.



....Twenty years ago
Was my first memory.
I was late for a birthday party
At a friend's house.
The smell of childhood lingering.
Laughter abound.
What a glorious sound.

After the party
I had my first day of highschool.
Stumbling through the halls
Adding a dent to the lockered walls.
Reeking of weed and wading
Through uknowns, feeling small.

Summer was great
But it came to an end.
I remember Mom crying
And Dad holding it in
When they dropped me off at college;
Weighted down with suitcases
And ready for this new phase of life to begin.

The courtyard felt so much more
Established than anything in highschool.
There was a sense of purpose in the air,
But a lack of urgency.
So many faces everywhere
In no real hurry.

Friday at two 'o clock
Sent bubbles through my stomach
Every week.
It was my favorite class
Or at least my favorite place to be.
I sat behind the future of my life,
A woman and a wife.
Her hair would tell me stories
And invoke fantasies.
I finally asked her out,
And it was well recieved, thankfully.

We got married in the fall.
Auburn and brown surround.
Hypnotizing.
Leaves were all over the ground,
And pinestraw got in her veil,
But no one cared.
I remember her laughing by the lake
As I shoved that first piece of cake
In her mouth.
She was so beautiful that day,
Standing out like vanilla
Ice cream in a chocolate dream....



A short time passed
Blurring the validity
Of my memory.
Remembering the good things,
And oblivious to the tragedy that remained.
I finally grew tired of swimming,
And decided to sink with the pain.

My life had flashed before eyes.
Consumed in demise that gave rise
To the canopy of my liquid sky.