...Ceramic Smiles

By SolApathy


When is alone more than alone?
Thoughts of going home, a curse
Thoughts of going out
Terrifying –no doubt
No escape in this bed in which we cower
In the shower, stains of blood of this bleeding flower
You won’t hear me scream~~You may even catch a smile
But don’t you know this is just the façade?
Don’t you know I always wanted you to see
Beyond this cracked ceramic smile that isn’t me
 I’m a virgin of love—Never seeing what it ever truly was
Lust was the only touch I ever felt
Fleeting, soon it did melt
A catastrophe of mixed emotions
Blender of nascent condemnation
Slowly expanding, everyday the thoughts more damning
Pustule, ready to burst deep within
I promise not to expose you to the abhorrence of my sin
As this rot slowly rusts this linchpin
Releasing all of what was truly me
As I gently slice vertically. 

Sometimes there  is no more left but the hollow rot our past expereinces have brought.   Sometimes there just isn't a cure to be found in pills or therapy...Sometimes the only cure comes with the cut~~There are those here that know what I speak is true.  This is me.   This is....You. 




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© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Sunday, April 14, 2019.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...I thought I could find myself with you-- In the end I found only the blade to be...True.
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Comments on "...Ceramic Smiles"

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  • Bornfrompain On Saturday, April 13, 2019, Bornfrompain (928)By person wrote:

    Brilliantly written my friend. - BFP

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