...Manic Embers

By SolApathy

Into the ebon flow
I am the darkness you know
Blanket of passive-aggressive thoughts
In here my memory rots
Breaking into fits of crying sorrow
Knowing I’ll still be here tomorrow
Never leaving this bed
Bi-polar controlling my head
Manic all done
Now I feel like
NO ONE
Laying night and day
No way I’ll move
Nothing to prove
Listening to the doorbell ring
Hearing my friends scream
All so mean
Can’t they tell?
I can’t leave this shell
This spell of depressive
I’m obsessive
Never leaving my hole
Broken but breaking in new ways
Every day
I am my own obsessive oppression
Wallow in my sorrow for nothing and everything
No energy to scream or care
Wicked knots in my hair
Twisted and turning
My thoughts burning
So long
Now even the embers are all
…Gone

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Published on Thursday, February 2, 2017. Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...Into an abyss I wait for a lone kiss to break me of my sorrow and let me escape the endless...Tomorrow

Comments on "...Manic Embers"

On Sunday, November 25, 2018, WindyGrace (14) wrote:

Left praying for a coming manic day, just to feel alive again... Only, there's no one real to pray to... Great piece!
On Sunday, November 25, 2018, SolApathy (652) wrote:

Manic is the awakening of the soul---Trying to catch up from all those dark days when our existence is locked away... I dream of an existence where I am not locked away, or exploding everyday... Need a little lithium grease in the gears to silence those unseen fears.
On Sunday, November 25, 2018, WindyGrace (14) wrote:

...and the wanting to catching up, needing to catch up only enhance those fears... I've tried every breathing technique known to man. HA!
On Sunday, November 25, 2018, SolApathy (652) wrote:

I can relate to that feeling... You might check out ...Lithium's chain if this type of poem is food for your soul. Again, thanks for the comments and look forward to seeing your next write.
A former member wrote: This is a highly romanticized way of articulating being so broken that you are beyond help or love. Not everyone can be saved, and that is what is really fucking devastating. Just so you know, you will always have friends who care about you. A very haunting write, Sol. Queen Reb:).