For My Grandmother:A Letter That Can't Be Mailed

Grandparents are gifts.As young children,we don't know how lucky we really are to have them in our lives.If you've even met your grandparents and had enough time to get to know them,some people would consider you lucky.They are the only other people on this planet who can love you like your parents,other than your mother and father.They're your role models,teachers,people you look up too,and someone you love being around...

Dear,Grandma
This morning,for whatever reason,I picked up the phone and started dialing your number.But,then I remembered that you wouldn't be there to answer and I would have only gotten a disconnected message anyways.I hung up the phone and for the first time since your funeral,I cried like a baby.I don't think I'm ever going to stop missing you.It hasn't even been a month yet and I have no idea how this is going to get any better.I just wish I could see you again.How you used to be before cancer took the life out of you.With your pretty long hair,bright eyes,and perfect smile,but I know I'll never see you again.Until I die,and that is only if I go to where ever you are.But,I somehow doubt that'll happen.You have to be in the most perfect place possible because you were such a great person.You helped everyone,even when they didn't deserve it.You spoiled your grandkids,including me.You also taught me a lot in life.But,in these last few years,up until you took your last breath there is something that you and grandpa have both taught me that I'll never forget.
You taught me to value every single day.No matter what goes wrong,how bad of a day you have,or how horrible you feel,just be thankful to be alive for another day.You were both so strong,you and grandpa.You were more than him though because nothing could scare him and he never cried.When you had to do chemo,anyone could tell you were scared and there were times when you cried and felt like giving up.You never did give up though.You were a fighter until the very end.There were so many things you wanted to see before your time was up.Like:your grandkids graduating highschool,all of us going to college,and of course every one of us getting married and having familys of our own.Most of that you never did get to see in person,but that doesn't mean you're never going to see it because I know you're somewhere up in the clouds with angels and you're watching over your whole family.
Speaking of that.What's it really like up there in the clouds?Have you met God?Are you with grandpa and everyone else who has passed away before you?Are the clouds really as soft and fluffy as they look down here on earth?I think they should be.More importantly though,are you better?Since you left your body,is the cancer gone?Can you walk and talk and remember things like you used to just a few months ago?I sure hope so.
I have a picture of you on my bookcase from a while ago.You have hair,your eyes are bright and alert and are smiling.I look at it every morning and say good morning to you.It's my little reminder to keep my head up and to keep fighting through whatever struggles I have in my life.You've given me so much my whole life,just by simply being in it.I look forward to the day when I go up to the kingdom in the clouds (if I go there) and am able to say "I'm going to gradma's house" once again.

I love you grandma,keep watching over me like you have been all of my life.

Until we meet again,
Annabel