Sins Like These

I don't want to face today,
sure as hell don't want to face myself.

This mirror has never looked so lonely.

This reflection has never seemed so stale.

These insides have never seemed so empty.

Drunk with disappointment,
seems all I'll ever be.

I try to wash away my sins,
my impurity
becomes an infection...

And it's killing me.

I raise my fist to the sky
screaming why...

"Why am I too dead to live,
yet too alive to die?"

I know that life won't wait,
but everything this side of heaven seems so grey

and...

If the past is really practice,
then why is today greeted with such familiar disarray?

Take my mistakes,
I know I'm the only one to blame.

I'm growing to accept them and trying hard,
fighting harder...

Trying not to die ashamed.

While memories burn away
like the ashes of a post-orgasm cigarette.

I find myself longing for a peace that I will never know

...forget...

The victimizing dreams,
still floating in the breeze.

Redemption is such a godless fairy tale,


after sins like these.