My life scripted

By veingo

It happened like this.

So, earlier today I was down in the basement doing laundry. (my life is realy exciting, I know)
But hey, nobody else is gonna do it.
Anyway, as I was folding the jeans, & hanging up shirts I noticed that is was strangly quiet.
Now, this is my week with my kids, and it's NEVER completly quiet when you have 3 young monsters in the house.
So I thought for a second.
Did they go outside?
No, the sliding glass door to the back yard is right above me, and I can always hear it open.
If you have kids, then you already know that absolute silence when you're absoluty sure they're in the house, is usually not a good sign.
So of corse I had to investagate.
I walked around the corner to the bottom of the stairs, but just befor I started up I heard voices.
The oddly hushed voices of all 3 of my kids interacting with eachother.
(Whispers can often be worse than silence, when you're a parent)
So sensing the opertunity to catch them in the act of,
well, anything.....I decided to procede with caution.

I stepped lightly up the first 4 steps, and leaned forward to better hear what was going on.

Kyle. (my oldest son). The guns, the tools, and the PS2.
Logan. My daughter) The computer, AND the printer.
Victor. (my youngest ) I got the house, & the knives.
Logan..The broom, the grill, and all the towels. Oh, and the hairdryer too.
Kyle.. Ok, the jeep & van, and all his hoodies.
Victor.. No I want the hoodies!
Kyle.. Alright, you can have the ones that're too small for me.
Victor.. Ok.
Logan.. I want the tv. The one in my room is broken. AndI should get all the kitchen stuff.

At this point I could hear most of what was going on, but couldn't understand what was happening at all. As I was trying to get a bit closer I stepped on the 5th stair (the one that creaks) without thinking.
But not to look the fool in front of my own kids, I kept going right up to the top so it wouldn't look like I had been paying attention at all.

As I topped the stairs & looked over the couch there they were, all huddled over the coffiee table. Each with a sheet of paper. Each with a pen in hand.
Me.. Whatcha doing, guys?
And they all met my eyes with the same sly half smile on their face.
After about 3 seconds of nothing my daughter broke the silence.

Logan..We're making lists of all the stuff we want when you die.
Me.. Oh? That's real nice!
Kyle..Dude, you ARE gettin pretty old (jokingly)
Victor.. Yeah, but we don't want you to die soon, or anything.
Me.. Whatever. (chuckeling)

So having found the situation to be a false alarm, I headed back down the stairs, & back to the laundry.
Back to hanging the shirts.
Back to folding the jeans.
With a bit of a smile on my face.I couldn't help but laugh, because as creepy as it might be, creepy is the one trait that they all got a LOT of, from the old man.

But like always, the peace didn't last long, & befor I was finished with the same load, the screaming started.

Logan.. Hey! Stop it!
Kyle.. Oh, I'm just kiddin.
Logan.. you're cheating!
Victor.. (laughing)
Kyle.. God. Quit being such a baby.
Logan.. DAD!!

Back up the stars I went. A bit faster this time. Already mourning the silence that for once, had turned out to be a good thing.

Me.. What 's the problem?
Logan.. He put something on my list when I wasn't looking.
Victor.. (giggling)
Me.. Kyle, did you do that?
Kyle.. Yeah, but I was just joking!
Me.. well, she didn't like it so don't do it again.
Logan.. You're a jerk!
Me.. LOGAN! It's over now, so let it go.
Logan.. But look what he did!!

She hands me the paper, that she had been making her list on. The paper which will surely cause me to have to re-dry the rest of the clothes, just to get the wrinkles out. The list of about fifteen items that she would like to lay claim to, upon my death, & felt so strongly about that she thought a binding contract was in order.

And there at the bottom, written in Kyle's slightly neater handwriting.
Spelled correctly, unlike most of the items she had put there herself. And in the black ink that he was using instead of the blue that she had. The one item that she could not stand to have on her list.

"The bills"

P.S. It's little moments like these with my kids,
that make my life wonderful.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 veingo
Published on Saturday, August 18, 2007.     Filed under: "Non-Fiction" and "Short Story"
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Comments on "My life scripted"

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  • Magdalena On Friday, January 20, 2012, Magdalena (790)By person wrote:

    A lovely story about your life, it brings fond memories of what my boys used to get up to when they were young...

  • A former member wrote: How true it is. Those moments are forever embedded into your memory and don't ever let them go. They grow so freakin fast. The love you have for your children is undying. Loved this write man! :)

  • A former member wrote: That is so cute...and hilarious. Almost as funny as my 3 year old nephew during the "dance" routine my two daughters choreographed to a Britney Spears song. They danced together in unison and when the instrumental solo (if you can call it that) came, they both shouted, Go Kenny! And he jumped into the middle of the room and did the robot! It was awesome. Just the fact that they worked on it all together and that's what they came up with just really amazed me and made my day a lot better.

  • A former member wrote: kids? kids? kids? At least they weren't plotting on you. (they might be doing that next) just playing. you seem like a cool father i doubt that would do that? Unless you get a big screen then kyle might want to. loved it.

  • A former member wrote: *soaks up the warmth from this happy moment* this was so sweet!the ending was perfect :).kids are awesome..the crazier the better!

  • A former member wrote: awwwwww... *smiles* I miss my kids being little and still at home, now they are all grown and so busy. Just wait til yours are in college like mine, lol, and you are so right, it's days and moments like this one that you miss

  • NikesRain On Monday, August 20, 2007, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    well at least they were honest, haha.... i envy you hun, i really do... you've got a great bunch there....

  • A former member wrote: Times like these, you know that they really did turn out like you :) I have 3 girls and they all are a bit on the creepy side too !

  • Reefer_rave On Sunday, August 19, 2007, Reefer_rave (146)By person wrote:

    aww things like this are why I love kids, The things they come up with - priceless

  • Narcissa On Sunday, August 19, 2007, Narcissa (403)By person wrote:

    My childern all are fury and don't have thumbs - for selfish reasons my husband and I decided against kids - but it is moments like this - I feel like we lost

  • A former member wrote: haha, i wish i had kids.

  • Err0r On Sunday, August 19, 2007, Err0r (367)By person wrote:

    Hahaha. :D Ron thats amazing. :D

  • A former member wrote: haha... did any of em have sharp objects nearby... they may have been plotting--keep an eye open! ;)

  • A former member wrote: hahahah! You need to bring it to a lawyer and have it put in your will like that. :)

  • Moonflower On Saturday, August 18, 2007, Moonflower (309)By person wrote:

    that is adorable... like u said almost creepy, but hilarious and cute ;)

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