It's not your fault (rape)

By Bluegirl

"It's YOUR fault" he said
Cleaning off his tool
As I grasp for words,
and find none

As if the shape of my eyes
or curve of my hips -
As if soft skin
or a fleeting glance
can explain the
madness in your molten mind

"It's your fault"

The words burn at me
Tear me apart
It is a lie

a

LIE!

Please explain to me
how the fit of my dress
made you hurt me?
Tell me how fllowers or
fishnets cause bruises -
Weave a story about how
velvet and lace
are interchangable
with "cuts" or "stitches"

"It's your fault"

How is kicking
and screaming:
"NO!"
now a "yes"
I never gave you
p.e.r.m.i.s.s.i.o.n.
to take away my tricycle

"It's your fault"
How does running out of energy -
How does the vile beer on your breath
Make it better?
Is it my fault
You bought your own scapegoat?

"It isn't my fault!!"
Why is laying back and accepting
I can't win
Your way to validate it?
How can you enjoy
watching as the
>::sparkle::<
in my eyes
F A d . e . s . away?
When they look cold, dead
Is that how you know you've won?

..."it isn't my fault"

********

Years later, she looks at me
"Where were you just now?"

I look up at her,
Tears in my eyes

"It IS my fault."

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Friday, September 22, 2006. Filed under: "Abuse" and "Poetry"

Comments on "It's not your fault (rape)"

On Sunday, October 1, 2006, KittyStryker (710) wrote:

Yeah. I know what you mean. And what's the lamest part is that every time I strike out at him, it's someone else in real life, someone who loves me. It's hell.
A former member wrote: This is a wonderful poem. Your pain, the words, it is all so real. Why do we always feel that it is our fault? ... I can't really articulate a proper comment this touched me so. *~`burned`~*
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Jenni (40) wrote:

i felt exactally the same way for years after it happened to me, and it took me a long time to realize it Wasn't my fault, just like it's not yours sweetie. if you ever want to talk, i'm here for you.
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Carnapharnelia (14) wrote:

I just wish I could jump in and make it all better. This tore at the deepest of me.
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Dissolving Poet (560) wrote:

AWWWWWWW fuck no, *Hugs* this just tore me apart I wanted to jump in there and beat the shit out of the bastard, . This was...God I wanted to kick some fucking ass and give you the biggest hug in the whole world ~Gothic
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Bluegirl (177) wrote:

Thanks Gothic Symphony. Hugs are always helpful. *hug*
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Alanarchy (1168) wrote:

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damnit. I know I don't know you, but tell me who it is-just tell me. Karma's a bitch, but I work faster!
On Friday, September 22, 2006, Bluegirl (177) wrote:

Thanks. :) It helps to know there are people on my side.
A former member wrote: holy shit love...for soooo many months after things tripped me up and left me with memories of a time I was almost raped (actually, there's been two times), I blamed myself. But there's no use blaming yourself...it's not your fault. ~*Beth*~
A former member wrote: "I never gave you p.e.r.m.i.s.s.i.o.n. to take away my tricycle" - Damn. This is powerful. Poignant write. Well done.