Secrets of a Funeral Director (Repost)

By Sticky Kitty

You can drop dead
and I'll charge your family for an extra large casket
than after it's over I'll cut your legs off
shove you in something smaller
and put the coffin back in my display case

I drew a diagram of a vagina
on your mother's face in lipstick
demonstrating pleasure to a coworker
then wiped it off
and embalmed her

We lost the body on the highway
stuffed the coffin with bricks
and told them the burns were so bad
the funeral could only be closed casket

His heart fell on the floor
and got stepped on
so we took another one from a dead Doe
and everyone wondered why a 16 year old had an organ marked by strokes

Sometimes one of us likes to fuck 'em
so we'll pump his cock full of embalming fluid
until it stands straight and hard
than when we're finished
drain all of it out and tell the wife
"We're sorry for your loss"

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 Sticky Kitty
Published on Sunday, July 24, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Secrets of a Funeral Director (Repost)"

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  • anakronistik_me On Monday, February 5, 2007, anakronistik_me (24)By person wrote:

    i am almost positive that the fact that i find this to be very entertaining says something about me... but who the hell cares? i loved it. absolutely fascinating.

  • VenomPlease On Sunday, November 20, 2005, VenomPlease (134)By person wrote:

    fucking wild.... I don't think I should have gotten such pleasure out of reading this, but I did.

  • MESUN On Friday, October 7, 2005, MESUN (230)By person wrote:

    this is sick, demented, wrong, fucked up, hilarious. good shit, real good shit.

  • October Death On Wednesday, October 5, 2005, October Death (18)By person wrote:

    I don't know why I like this so much...but, I do.

  • A former member wrote: oh thats just wrong...I LOVE IT!

  • blue On Sunday, July 24, 2005, blue (1454)By person wrote:

    holy shit, i just dont know what to say.. as long as it doesn't hurt, i guess im ok with it. i think. hmm..

  • SilentStalker On Monday, July 25, 2005, SilentStalker (1067)By person wrote:

    ...heh, buy him a t-shirt afterwards: "the best piece of ass I got was After I died; I didn't have to move a muscle!"...okay, maybe not... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Sunday, July 24, 2005, SilentStalker (1067)By person wrote:

    ...sick as hell, but that's a compliment coming from me...I definitely like this one... Scholar

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