Oh Lets Go Back To The Start

By DeprivedOfReason

"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are"


-ive spent the entire day weeping screams, sobbing scars, crying blood,

completely falling apart like splinters of memories to this song.-


"I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart"


-Of course i thought of you,

as i laid vacantly sprawled across the taffee brown carpet, naked

hypnotically staring through my moms closet mirror,

barely recognizing the once familiar girl before me.-


"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start"


-Almost 20.

Holy fuck.

WHO ARE YOU?!-


"Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part"


-My eyes seemed worn devoid of animation,

glassy, filled with unspeakable tears hanging

like mirrors with no reflection.

especially not my own.-


"Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard"


-My body remained unmoved for hours, magnetically attached to the floor,

without the will to lift itself upright.-



"Oh take me back to the start"



-I could have layed there the entire day, eternity,

with the song on replay,

but at some point i managed to crawl or claw my way into my moms

oversized tub in the ephemeral comfort of darkness,

staring vacuously at the ceiling as the warm tepid water rushed in swirls

all around the cold frigid stillness of my exposed flesh,

filling my ears till the music whispered into me as though

from a distant benevolent reality of my consciousness.-


"I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart"


-It felt as though i was dreaming,

floating numbly in the tub, ethereally hovering

like a fish,

trapped,

my body yearning the ocean instead of shallow, predictable waters.-


"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start"


-Deep, forgivingly

endless,

fathomless water consuming the entirety of my existence.-


"Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are"


-aaah .. such bitter-sweet indeed,-


"Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part"


-its all i know.-


"Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard"


-the sweet..began to creep its way through goose bumps,

immersing itself into my weary bones, shallow breath,
my salty tears indistinguishible, as i cried my own ocean

i dived shut my trembling eyelids bracing myself for the bitter
my pursed lips emmiting its final bubble in shivering sadness
of course i thought of you.-


"I'm going back to the start"





quoted lyrics by ColdPlay-The Scientist

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 DeprivedOfReason
Published on Thursday, April 7, 2005.     Filed under:
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Comments on "Oh Lets Go Back To The Start"

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  • DKultra On Sunday, December 29, 2019, DKultra (3)By person wrote:

    Sometimes life deals you unspeakable horror and suffer. You find yourself strung out on the floor in the bathtub and looking at reality with a wider perspective. Ultimately what you do with your time/intent, is the Author of your life (if you seize control/intent/creativity). What I don't get, is why so many people want to ruin others, or ruin the Earth/Creation. That is lame as fuck. Great poetry. Automatic writing is the best feeling in the world.

  • AniDayz On Sunday, April 10, 2005, AniDayz (822)By person wrote:

    'as i layed vacantly sprawled across the taffee brown carpet, naked hypnotically staring through my mom's closet mirror barely recognizing the once familiar girl before me-"that particularily just struck me so hard...

  • AniDayz On Sunday, April 10, 2005, AniDayz (822)By person wrote:

    dammmm...you're fucking incredible. i love all parts and pieces of this, the entire write is so raw and so real---just absolutely striking.

  • darkleprechaun On Thursday, April 7, 2005, darkleprechaun (56)By person wrote:

    wow.... you astonish me again and again with every fresh write, i check on you often ... hoping to find myself lost again in a new verse of your scarred heart and mind. thank you for this. dave

  • DarkPoet On Thursday, April 7, 2005, DarkPoet (247)By person wrote:

    Sounds awfully familiar... Scholar

  • elisa On Thursday, April 7, 2005, elisa (1639)By person wrote:

    Coldplay - The Scientist....

  • happilydepressed On Thursday, April 7, 2005, happilydepressed (171)By person wrote:

    i love this, and such a great song

  • maddog On Thursday, April 7, 2005, maddog (28)By person wrote:

    Sadly I found peace reading this? I liked reading.....well done MD

  • A former member wrote: A very intriguing way to write about suicide. . . as a start. . . :)

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