Dear ______ ,

Time does not change what is inside your heart, and you will not love me.

But I shall stand here:
* naked
* bleeding
* dying

Waiting for:
* words that will not come
* arms that will not open
* future that will not happen

I do not know why my stomach fills with butterflies when your name is spoken.
I do not know why my heart skips a beat when you come calling.
I do not know why I break into a sweat when I pull onto your street.
I do not know why I lie awake at night thinking of what ifs and could be's.

I could list the reason I love you:
* you love music more than I do and you share your knowledge with me
* there's a fine line between insanely smart and just plain insane but both make you interesting
* you make me laugh and smile like no one else
* you're beautiful to me
* you are something that I cannot have

I could list the reasons I hate you:
* you love to blow me off
* your words are often hollow and cold
* you know how I feel and think you have a right to tell me who I am
* the mere mention of another female sends me into a inner struggle with jealous rage
* you know how to make me do anything you'd like
* you are something I cannot have

Sometimes I wonder if I've really wasted a year and a half of my life on you.
Am I that blind?
You will never be mine, despite the fact that I've opened my soul to you in every way imaginable.
My heart has bled at your feet in more ways than one and you only know how to make it worse.

You know I love you and you're terrified. Why?
You run away at the faintest mention of my undying loyal love for you.
You walk one step ahead so I cannot catch you.
And I, the saddest girl in the world, trail ever so faithfully behind.
You will never love me, but I will continue to miserably love you.

You are my bane.
* my curse
* my plague
* my love

Sometimes you don't know what you have until you've lost it.
Remember that when you really want to jump off your roof.
You will not fly and I will not catch you.

Sincerely,
___________