Outside In

Looking through the
window pane
gazing out
eyes ever searching
for the lights
that cannot be found
as my gaze
only finds my
own.

looking in
looking out

Feeling trapped
by a world where
I do not belong
longing for a place
that feels like home
ever elusive.

on the inside
looking out
on the outside
looking in

I am seen
but not known
the facade is
accepted...
nurtured...
expected...
and I give it
all...
complacently...
aching for
fulfillment.

subtly obvious
noticed and unseen

I don't want to just be heard
I want for someone to listen.
I don't want to just be seen
I want for someone to search.
I don't want to just be felt
I want for someone to reach.
I don't want to just be filled
I want to feel complete...

I am not inside out...

but outside in...

caved upon myself.

The rain starts
falling down
misting my face
or is that tears
I no longer know.

I am just
on the inside
looking out
on the outside
looking in.