...Fractures in a Winter Pond

By SolApathy

https://youtu.be/QFn2kyvkk7g?t=90

What have we become?
A trip into the reality of more than one
Less than four
3 of us here
No less, no more
Once we were one
Upon the days of the beauty of setting suns
Beach sand intimate between toes
The memories fade as the confusion of reality grows
An accident or fate –Fractured us into an abyss of the taint
She’s gone and now it takes 3 of us to remain strong
One to morn
One to scorn
One Seeing the other two, understanding-- forlorn
Pills try to mend the cracks, hidden
Still you see the scars on my back
You see the three of us—Broken, yet intact
Parasitic coexistence pills cannot replicate
Drugs only placate
Pacify the voices I need to remain sane
I’m on the Crazy train
Lithium creeps into my mind
To my receptors it won’t bind
Brilliant flashes of thought as the drugs, I fought
Depakote to reign in my manic trio
Increase the dose until we became comatose
GCS 8 —The coma will never abate
Yet here I am trapped, unable to react
Screaming whispers to end the suffering endured
I hear the doctors whisper there’s no cure
Is she here? in there, somewhere? 
Eyelids opened-pierced by chaotic light
No contraction, reversal of dilation action
See the doctor says—No one in there today
Tomorrow
Pull the plug
Shed your sorrows
I would scream but this escape was always our dream
Finally--I won’t hear anymore…Screams




...Feel the escape as my life abates
I feel her smile upon my ragged breathe
Comforting me as I let go
I fell through the fractures of a Winter pond
Heard the ice crack and knew I was gone...




 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Tuesday, February 5, 2019.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...Once I thought I wanted to heal --Today I realized I just wanted no no longer...Feel
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