Flashbacks and memories

The protected one. The feared one. The hated one. The envied one.

Killing me, hating thee, becoming we.
Collapsing me, it couldn't be, I didn't see.
I hated it, it made a fit, it shouldn't hit.
I feel that bit, dig it deeper, create the insanity
I've lost it for you. My mind's parallels shattering.

You wanted this!?

My heart, my bones, my chest.. What did you do?

Why can't I sleep.. Why can't I eat..
..
What did he say just then? I can't see clearly..

YOU DIDN'T TRUST IN ME!


But I trusted my life to your care. I thought it was right.
I thought I could share, cover my six in this fight.

But you.. you just didn't trust in me..

GET SOME HELP OVER HERE, NOW!
.
.

Chaos shows.. Bloody nose.. missing toes..
..
ghost white face.. My disgrace..
brother come back..


NOOO, DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!








PTSD is a real issue facing many of us. It strikes us in ways many just don't see. It's our own hell. Deja vu into the worst pits of pain and suffering. I see dead bodies, blood, gunshots, glass flying.. I hear the screaming.. I see the faces.. I can't breath from it all.. I just know that I need to get out of where ever I am. The dreams, they haunt even deeper. When you lose someone to tragedies, it never gets easier. Just a smell, a few musical notes, the sound of someones voice.. For me, a loud bang, a dog barking, sirens from emergency vehicles, sudden movements out of the shadows, just a few of the things that have triggered bad memories. When we make the oaths, swear to give anything for our freedoms, that never ends in us. Even afterwards, we are who we were. This is my little piece of burning hell. These are my skeletons. I havent served as long as I wanted. I have seen many horrors outside my service. I have given up so much just for the sake of preservation. And it still tortures me daily.