War Party
By Ophelia
The fire glowed,
ambers hidding beneath the ash,
bodies every where,
stars and moon hidden from view,
in the distance a wolf howls.
Waggons burned,
smoke fills the air,
horse neigh skittishly,
eight warriors stand their ground.
One lone survivor,
trys to crawl,
to hide.
Eight warriors watch in delight,
what pain will they inflict,
first they gather the scalps,
blood dripping running into the land,
their land.
Tied to a tree a man,
bleeding from many cuts,
no longer cries in pain,
Eight warriors clean their knives,
wiping his blood away with sand.
They laugh,
talking in their native tongue,
he only sees demons,
covered in his blood,
This must be hell his mind screams.
Eight warriors,
ride off in the dark.
The smell of blood,
brings life out of the night.
A man longing for death,
receives his wish.
I received inspiration for this after reading two works by
Judgement, I hope this will find it's way to him.
Comments on "War Party"
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A former member wrote:
Absolutely beautiful write.
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On Monday, August 16, 2010, Scarrzz
(235) wrote:
Great story, very engaging and descriptive wording, and your style held my attention very well. That was an awesome way of saying that the wolf came in and answered his prayer.
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On Sunday, April 17, 2005, Kinkypoptart
(555) wrote:
long but beautiful. ~*~Tart~*~
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On Tuesday, April 19, 2005, Ophelia
(221) wrote:
lol does that mean I should have left something out and made it short I don't think I can do short I tend to be wordy very wordy .........O
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On Tuesday, March 2, 2004, WinterGrave
(258) wrote:
Vary nice, most enjoyable read.~~~Grave
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On Tuesday, October 21, 2003, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
very diff from your other works. very raw, very very dark. I enjoyed it.
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On Sunday, September 28, 2003, Raze Drake
(85) wrote:
ah......lead us on into battle. we are with you.
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On Tuesday, September 16, 2003, Stranger
(263) wrote:
I think this my favorite from you. Visually alive, sadistic and dark. Very consistent tone, feeling and pace through the whole piece. Excellent.
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A former member wrote:
I have seen those warriors in my own dreams it's like you were right there seeing what I saw and heard!
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A former member wrote:
I really enjoyed this poem. For some reason it reminded me of Congress vs. The Middle Class, don't ask me why. Great job, will have to read more of your works. ~Urban Shipwreck~
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On Thursday, August 28, 2003, Dancing_Monkey
(1228) wrote:
fantastic... I love it.. Monkey
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On Wednesday, August 27, 2003, Blinded_Tiger
(518) wrote:
You little rebel you *wink* I realy enjoyed it O. Immensely. And its good to see you try out new things, in this write. You will never cease to amaze me, about that im sure. Tiger
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On Wednesday, August 27, 2003, _Andrew_
(245) wrote:
awesome write, this was cool from start to finish *~*aNDReW*~*
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A former member wrote:
Heh heh, i liked it, but jeez!! Just when i thought Kefka's head couldn't get any bigger....good job!!
~Mercy~
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On Sunday, August 24, 2003, Six-Out
(1423) wrote:
Great Ophie, just make his ego bigger why don't ya.
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On Sunday, August 24, 2003, worm
(1149) wrote:
a well thought out and inspiring piece of work! beautifully done... worm