My Darkside has won this futile war
I just can't be here anymore

subtle anger turns to unchecked rage
surrounded by thick smoke doubt
before I become what I most hate
I have to take my worthless self out

I've been to the Otherside 7 times before
always a nice slow fade to black
this time I assure you
I will not be coming back

There's no one to talk to anymore
when I need to talk the most
loneliness is a devouring beast
turning the real me into a ghost

I guess my heart was always right
there's way too much love to give
when suffocating under it's weight
it becomes impossible to live

this world is a very ugly world
everything beautiful has already died
I've known this for quite awhile now
but my hopeful mind continued to lie

I tried to stay 'hidden' inside
a deep comfort in my hollow shell
everytime I took one more chance
it led me to some new kind of Hell

Thank you Lord for the gift of life
but now I wish to return it
all that I created I leave behind
nothing worth saving so just burn it

too late to mark this blank book
that chance was never really taken
when I had to ask for recognition
it had already been forsaken

the bleeding started with winter's rejection
all the way to now - right here
the Angel of Death has caught my scent
I know She is somewhere near

I'm not afraid to take Her gentle hand
and my questions no longer need an answer
although I always hoped and prayed
my end would come in the form of cancer

not by my own creative hand
I can't write myself out of this one
all the words have lost their meaning
too much damage has been done

so to those of you I've always loved
remember I will always love you
to those who I've hurt or hated
sorry, and now I love you all too

the last righteous act
of a now doomed man

oh . . . She's here now . . .
reaching out Her hand

I thank my world for tolerating me
all of you were always good friends
to all the artists, poets, musicians and lovers
you know we all create our own Epic Ends . . .