Air-Conditioned Hell

By NarcissusNarcosis

I've been spun around
into a corner again
a false prophet of things once bright
despicable noises created
optimistic sounds torn..
Do human senses
gather anything more than this?
The reason Van Gogh
refuses to find his ear...
this life is a gift
and I don't have the receipt
dress me up
in my suit of disbelief
pocket this brand-new perspective
I bought last week
convincing me to attempt
to erase everything...
Using a D-battery
an NA pamphlet
a dry ink pen
and a paper heart
stained black with sin,
I'm trying to create
a black hole
that will delete everything I know
and swallow my universe...
All this effort
to eradicate
the virus of happiness
that is incubating
waiting
to infect me...
It is a demoralization
that is against my will
a defeat rendered
from the devil's deal
nothing remaining
for death to steal
a void only
more emptiness can fill
until my tiny victories
become infinite kills...

Choosing wisely
the crayon I will use
to color in the holes
of my faded world
I will leave behind
no blank-white paste.
Only skipping rocks of hate
across my glass pond soul
as rationality bleeds away
I'm answering my front door
with a knife
in a hope to kill
the old way of thinking
murder
my previous state-of-mind...

And maybe in time
after I pawn enough
of my scrap thoughts
I can be left
with nothing
but some change
a few pennies to throw
into an evaporated wishing well
and enough dollar bills
to install air-conditioning
into my custom-built hell...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Sunday, August 4, 2013. Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

This has been in my notebook for a little while, found it while flipping through and decided to post it.

Comments on "Air-Conditioned Hell"

A former member wrote: I'm feelin' it. "The reason Vincent Van Gogh refuses to find his ear / this life is a gift and I don't have the receipt." In the midst of the several lines discussing your dry ink pen, it came to my attention as a very objective reader (ahem, objectifying), that you are in fact fixated on leaving your mark. You talk about your crayons, you talk about your intentions to "leave behind no blank-white paste." You are clearly obsessed with writing materials. And I haven't even mentioned the paper heart stained with black ink sin. Though that IS very clever, as it insinuates how very simple it is to take a fragile foundation and mar it with liquid that will permeate it forever . . . until someone nice comes along to bleach it for you with some very strong Oxyclean. I betcha you'd smell that. So "do human senses gather anything more than this?" Yeah. But you have to throw your pennies into the Trevi Fountain, not a well, silly. Then you'll hear the splash :)
On Saturday, August 17, 2013, Maladroit (202) wrote:

I want to borrow that notebook and analyze your handwriting preferably with a carton of cigarettes
On Monday, August 5, 2013, Nehema (960) wrote:

A new favorite, wow...that last stanza brought it all together and made me choke. I wanna say more, much more about the depth of raw emotion this piece invokes, ...maybe later - XXOO
On Monday, August 5, 2013, Devilish (2658) wrote:

to infect me... It is a demoralization that is against my will a defeat rendered from the devil's deal nothing remaining for death to steal a void only more emptiness can fill until my tiny victories become infinite kills..... FUCK YEAH!! touch me please hurry up before i die.. damn it i wanna drink your saliva..
On Sunday, August 4, 2013, dwells (4285) wrote:

Wait until the electric bill comes, then you will get a glimpse of the next level of Hell, and it will only get worse with the new EPA regs, but it's part of the master plan to break the system, and then re-create into the ideal. Sorry NN for the verbosity, this could be one of your best - like grape juice into wine, cheers!
On Sunday, August 4, 2013, blue angel (877) wrote:

"only skipping rocks of hate across my glass pond soul" Wow! Every line was crafted with such skill. Impressive my friend , very impressive ;)~
A former member wrote: maddening genius.