(Part 3) Cocooned and Comforted by the Strands of Denial

You still here, entertaining questions that have no answers?

A drug is a drug is a drug?
You might be wrong, so wrong in that assumption.

Yeah addiction is addiction, and high is high, but no drug is really better or worse than. Eventually they all lead to that same, have nothing, feel nothing, see(n) as nothing.

And yet some are so much more special when referring to the level of unpredictability, violence. Oh, they have such a perfect way of exciting the demons one might never have realized lived within. Demons that those around were never really expecting.

Until, an end to the rope
Do you have enough room for another knot to hold on to?

You may want to be sure you know what you are dealing with when you cross the line into madness and interfere with a life not yours.
But can you ever be sure?
Can you even begin to understand how dangerous this playground is?
And is it the drug, or the person to begin with?
Yeah, string that last one out…

With all that saving, got to save, still going on because they might …
No, I won’t say it, but you are surely playing the end out in some morbid fashion, aren’t you?



The sound is sickening, as they hold hands and give suggestions on how to be
sneakier, how to …

Catching an addict 101

First find that dope, because then they have the ammo.
Of  course with no thought of a consequence because they are pissed.
Livid even, again, or maybe this hundredth time of again.
“This shit isn’t happening anymore!”

It was so allowed before, why is now so different? Oh please explain why is today so different from all the yesterdays that have passed?

Very blind to the lines you draw, feet you stomp and mouth that screams this is the last time, to swiftly move aside and allow your boundaries to be crossed.
So unloving …

To then hide under the blankets playing pity party melodies in your head.

They knew perfectly how to make you give in and you were totally in control of letting it happen.
Actually, and I know you still don’t see it, but you were a great teacher with your every reaction.

I know it is still all this time in far to easy to make it about them. They have the problem, they are the problem and you are a vision of innocence?
You didn’t manipulate, did you? You didn’t shift the scenes to protect, to save? Bail out and jail according, using frustration and fear to drive a need to react? You most certainly didn’t have thousands of pennies to throw in the mix in hopes, with prayers that it would work your way…

The sickness manipulates this sides madness as well. Taking over all common sense.

Personally, the mommies are the most fun to watch. They play the my pain is greater than yours, and my child is worse than and sit stuck in this martyr filled kingdom as the queens of despair. Repeating over and over their stories, yet only the horror within them. Isn‘t there anything good anywhere at all within the child, isn’t there something they do right in your eyes, something that will lend them worth in you heart …

Neatly nailing themselves to the cross as they profess how good families deal with this too. Addiction never discriminates. It seems some worry is floating around as that “didn’t cause” runs free to comfort a maybe very guilty mind.

But hey it’s ok because you are not alone.
Here sit, have a hug you poor thing, and we will teach you anger, how to hate, lose faith, see nothing but bad, evil, ugly…
Because really now all they had to do was just stop, be good, listen to us as we know.

If they could have done exactly what we said, felt it all our way, and
been like their brothers and sisters. Well if it is remembered that there are other children in the house, usually the pattern plays perfectly. And they are forgotten and fall into line as the perfectionist and control freaks, hyper vigilant, compared and used as a comparison of the healthy ones to boot!

Wonder where that thinking comes from. Oh wait that everything is spotless, manicured meticulously appearance so important, as if it could switch focus from the truth, the chaos staring one in the face. Those roles taken on because of…

Just love that cycle of dysfunction, pass it on, man pass it on.

They prey to easily on the lack of boundaries. How could they not, when it is allowed within that veil of denial.
That refusal in so many cases of believing the words, addict, alcoholic, pill head , dope shooting junkie…
They are what, what! Some still can’t say it. And sadly all that power tossed away, the addiction is surely counting on that.

Thieves, liars, manipulators, self centered, uncaring…
Is that watching side is so different?

Some days I wonder who is smarter when the sickness gets it groove on.

Do you mirror the addict in your life?
Taking personal something that isn’t and basking in the art of blaming.
It was the accidents fault, her husband who treated her like, he drove her to it, the girlfriends hold on, the boyfriends lines told to, that friend, if that friend hadn‘t…

Glorified, and still quite dead. But then you should know by now, just because you are breathing, means nothing really.

And when the air is drenched in sorrow, pain and anger…
No one really wants to do the one thing that might just save them.
As the obvious always shines.
You still missing it…

All tangled in the silky strands of the most perfect handmade weave…