Words on a Napkin

By A Life Without You

She looked at the wall behind me, as she began to speak.
I couldn’t quite understand what she was saying,
The lies were pressing against her teeth...
After a long pause that streched into awkwardness,
She spoke softly in my ear… Can someone else lift us?

Did her question catch me unaware?

We have cancer of the heart...Evil doesn’t creep in, its already there - In our hearts, always looking for a way to get out.

I simply asked her to walk between the lines of love & hate,
She said it would be a lot easier if those lines remained straight.
She compared it -  as to a Raven unable to fly,
I compared it to an ocean between us, Though we sat side by side.
After a while I forgot she was even there, In the booth...
I only focused on a beautiful void that filled the space, she once consumed.
I wish I could believe her I do,
But she forgot the eyes are the window to the soul, I can see right into that room.

A thousand words have been written on this napkin,
words you’ll never have a chance to read again.

Evil doesn’t creep in, its already there -
It's unfortunate I mistook this for love,

May that Raven find it's air...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2010 A Life Without You
Published on Thursday, February 18, 2010.     Filed under: "Beat" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

I hate when you know the truth, you give them that chance to tell you, they choose not to take it...
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Comments on "Words on a Napkin"

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  • A former member wrote: Beautiful, an echo torn from a heart that bleeds

  • Gray Vision On Monday, August 30, 2010, Gray Vision (424)By person wrote:

    I know what you mean bud, it's a sad reality, painful to witness but just like the poem i wrote "Spawn of Lies" once they start it's impossible to stop and an individual like this their very existance becomes nothing more than a big lie. Great write and thank you for sharing this with us here on DP =)

  • A former member wrote: "I simply asked her to walk between the lines of love & hate, She said it would be a lot easier if those lines remained straight." The flow of this is absolutely incredible. i really loved this piece.

  • A former member wrote: Beat is fuckin right, beat to the head... beat to the heart. This was WOW. It was perfect in every way from flow to structure. Lovely. =)

  • Spiritus_Frumenti On Sunday, May 9, 2010, Spiritus_Frumenti (340)By person wrote:

    What a great little story..it was like an excerpt from a novel, which I'm sure you are working on...you have the gift, keep on writing my friend...

  • jonLyndon On Saturday, May 8, 2010, jonLyndon (113)By person wrote:

    "May that Raven find it's air..." absolutely! Some words capture the pure essence of what a poem is suppose to mean... it is here.

  • A former member wrote: i love how you can make me see the story unfold in my mind.. great write.

  • A former member wrote: pretty decent prose.. maybe throw a lil more description in there? some dialogue perhaps... great concept, started very strong, but I think the second half could be better.... just a thought man. thanks for sharing, good read.

  • A Life Without You On Sunday, April 11, 2010, A Life Without You (146)By person wrote:

    Hey thanks, i do appreciate the feed back. I guess 9/10 ant bad, it gives me a chance to kind of explain this a bit. My style of writing isn't supposed to be the conventional rhyming paragraphs with perfectly matching syllables, most of my stuff is actually "beat" cut down a bit, cause with beat poetry you can add some of the emotion you want your audience to grasp in the way you present it. This piece was more a less a short story started in a coffee shop between the cheating/lying girl friend n the "Heart on the sleeve" boyfriend. In essence it starts with a conversation but ultimately is comprised with just his thoughts of the hole situation, as she is selfishly rambling on... so only slight conversation in the beginning, most of us have been there at one time or another, most of my pieces are written as "thoughts", to be read line by line, taking a second or two in-between, not jumbled into paragraphs to be skimmed over in 2.3 seconds, yes this is a website comprised of "poetry", unfortunately the majority of occupants don't have time to read it as it was designed. They skim through a work looking for that one key word that will catch there fancy, then they'll try to slow down n read... but anyway, i admire your works so in-turn i appreciate your comments, your a talented poet so i will not take the criticism in vain, but will use it to improve, and will thank you for being honest, and hope to hear more from you on other pieces i have written, thanx again my friend

  • A former member wrote: Your meaning is open and ready to read. You don't overly use metaphors, which can be sickening in my opinion.

  • A former member wrote: Your words are very fluid throughout this piece of work. I loved it. Keep writing.

  • A former member wrote: I found this to be an excellent read, and the picture it painted for me was vivid. I have lost love as well over selfish, self destructive habits so I can somewhat relate

  • Malcholm Dark On Monday, March 1, 2010, Malcholm Dark (806)By person wrote:

    You are so talented, the visuals were perfect. I think the way you speak when you write, prose, is best suited for poetic structure. write on.

  • Musik2MyEyes On Sunday, February 21, 2010, Musik2MyEyes (192)By person wrote:

    Irreconcilable differences. Love in the beginning no doubt. Leaves scars in the aftermath. Just my take on this. Very nicely written.

  • A former member wrote: pretty much. [sigh]

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