up and adam
By swing_the_hammer
i got an able body
able to fall, able to break
and i can walk a mile
down this road but
i start shaking
the weather just came in, it said
a hard rain's gonna fall
well i have seen a storm or two
yeah they come when i call
my woman's got a body, too
better than mine, though full of pain
but she seems to be a bit more able than me
able to bear, abel to cain
and it's hard to explain how the jealousy
of one can take away the other
it used to be just us, you see
now i've got to tell mother
how two plus two makes only three
so i used my own two feet
to flee this godforsaken garden
i had only the choice to leave
for there will be
no royal pardon
i have seen a thousand serpents since
each of them like you, or me
but didn't you hear about that apple?
it never falls far
from the tree
Awards
Comments on "up and adam"
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On Monday, April 30, 2012, lovechild
(43) wrote:
This rocks! I am pleased to have come across your works by chance, only because a soldier I know named Jack Hammer, the hammer swings. I love it.
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A former member wrote:
mind bendingly allegorical; the nunaces are every where and so delicately intelligent. conceptually, so original, as in original sinful good. ..articulately constructed and superb ending; resonant. without any recalitrance. .. .
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A former member wrote:
love the references -the structure, flow and mostly the concept behind this. Really excellent write. 'able to bear. abel to cain' -amazing line.
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On Wednesday, November 28, 2007, RubyXero
(481) wrote:
this whole structure and use of words was amazing. and i loved the ending with 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'... that was great.
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On Tuesday, November 27, 2007, Six-Out
(1423) wrote:
your mind is precious. I fucking love this. The play on the idea, everything. So great.
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On Tuesday, November 27, 2007, Bella Butchery
(696) wrote:
i wish i can escape my mindset so i can write something like this... i dig your originallity