chronic time deficiency

anxious and exhausted
with a false sense of control
speeding on the freeway
when i’m already late for work
all the while trying to get myself together
physically and mentally
stop…go…stop…go
don’t forget that after toiling
for eight long hours
i have class and then homework
and while i’m wasting away in traffic
i need to remember:
that there are at least
three calls i have to return
fuck i need gas…
is there enough in the bank to cover a tank?

the carpool lane is so empty
i can’t afford a $400 ticket though…so stay put
oh yeah, i still have to complete
online traffic school from running that red light

i hope so, i get paid at the end of the week…
oh and that birthday this weekend
i better schedule time to get a gift or at least a gift card
and someone needs help moving
another with babysitting
plus the interview for that second job
that i NEED just to make ends
jesus, i guess i’ll miss that television series premier tonight
have i eaten today?

shit, i’m overdrawn…its okay though
i can get a payday loan on my lunch break
i just have to make it to work and then to the loan place
don’t forget the car registration is overdue
and then get gas on my way back to the office
if i have time i’ll pick something up on the way and i can eat at my desk
history of heart disease in the family…i better not get fast food
plus who wants to be fat?
that’ll just slow me down more
where are my cigs?
is dad still clean and sober?
his last message sounded erratic…
i ought to write my cousin back
he is in Iraq after all…
only twenty two years old
i still remember babysitting him…
oh and my brother in prison
he needs a money order for some shampoo and a return letter as well
plus grandma called…she can’t afford the light bill…
what she gets monthly should be called social insecurity
tomorrow the post office
i’m still twenty minutes from work…
supposed to see that cute guy tonight
damn…that means i’ll need to flake on drinks with the girls…again
why am i so fucking thirsty?
where did this headache come from?
did i remember to put excedrin in the car?
my nose is running
tissue….tissue…oh shit forgot to pick it up at the market

arrival
pocketbook , keys, water
notes, sweater, lock the car…
stop…go…breathe…

what’s that? two people out sick?
can i stay later?
work a split?
i feel unwell myself